The Kakarott Zone
by Brenman
Summary: ATTENTION FANS. You are now entering the Kakarott Zone Movie theater. It's the most Epic Kakarott Zone ever. It's Kakarott Zone: The Movie.
1. Krillin the Idiot

Disclaimer: If I had owned DBZ, Super Saiyans would have had pink hair and Nameks would have looked like giant blue elephants. Clearly I don't own DBZ then.

The Kakarott Zone

Your sitting in your leather recliner in the living room of your nice house in West City. Outside the sun has just set and your settling down to watch your favorite television show. You flick on the screen in time to hear the last few words from the ZTV news. It seems that Saiyaman had stopped another bank robbery, and saved three kittens today. Good for him. You watch a couple of commercials for products that you will never need and then the screen fades to black.

A man walks onto screen and looks straight at you. He begins to talk and you sit further into the seat and put up the leg rest and put all of your attention into listening to what your favorite T.V. host has to say, "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji, and I will be your host for this evening. You are about to enter a world that has no rules. A place where food is currency, there are green men with pointy ears, and five minutes can last for half a season. This is the Kakarott Zone. (Queue twilight zone theme played on a slide whistle.)

The man on the television begins walking towards the camera, "Today we will be watching a video that details just how stupid a certain bald monk can be at times. This is a tale that I like to call, Krillin the Idiot."

The screen fades to black and you prepare yourself for a great story.

-- Krillin the Idiot --

Goku, Piccolo and Gohan are all flying to an island nine miles southwest of south city. Three years ago a young man with lavender hair had traveled back in time and told them to be at the island by ten o' clock in the morning on this very day. The young man, who had revealed himself to Goku as being Trunks Briefs, son of Vegeta and Bulma. Trunks had told them that in three years time they would have to fight a pair of androids created by Dr. Gero, and that the androids were stronger then anything they had ever fought before.

Gohan, who was more then eager to arrive at their destination, was subconsciously flying faster then his two companions. Goku yelled ahead to the young black haired boy, "Slow down Gohan, we'll get there in plenty of time. You wouldn't want to be tired out before the fight even starts."

"Oh, okay." Gohan said quietly and slowed down to the same speed the other two were traveling at. While he was looking forward, Gohan spotted a small orange blob up ahead in the direction they were flying, "Hey, I can see Krillin now."

The three had soon caught up to the short bald monk just as their intended destination came into view. "Wow." Krillin said as he looked at the island that they could now see had a decent sized city located on it, "That's the island? I didn't even know there was anything out here."

Goku looked down, "Hey there are the others." Goku pointed at a small group of people that were congregated on an outcropping of rock jutting out from a mountain that overlooked the city. The group of four let gravity pull them down to land beside their group of friends. They examined the assembled fighters before them and Goku stepped forward, "Bulma, what are you doing here?"

Bulma, who was carrying a baby in her arms grinned, "I just came to see these androids and then I'll leave." Bulma looked down at her son and cooed.

Krillin grinned stupidly, "What's up with the baby Bulma?"

Gohan looked over at Yamucha, "I bet he's your son, isn't he Yamucha?" Gohan smiled.

Yamucha groaned and began walking away, "He's not my kid. If you think that's a shock just wait." Yamucha sat down on a weathered rock and sighed, "Wait until she tells you who the father really is." Yamucha was quiet for a couple seconds before speaking again in a hurt sounding voice, "I'll give you guys one hint. That kid is only half human."

Krillin and Gohan gasped in shock. Of the two, Krillin was the first to find his voice, "Piccolo, why didn't you tell us you were a daddy?" Krillin watched as the rest of the Z fighters fell over comically.

Bulma jumped up from where she had fallen over, "Not Piccolo you idiot. I'll give you another hint. He is a Saiyan."

Krillin gasped again, "No way. Goku do you know what Chi Chi's going to say if she found out about this?"

Goku looked at Krillin quizzically as everyone else fell over again, "Krillin, what's Chi Chi going to find out about?"

Krillin looked at Goku in exasperation, "About you having another kid."

Goku gasped, "Chi Chi's having another kid. I have to get home." Goku jumped off the ground and began to fly back to his house when Piccolo caught his foot. "Piccolo?"

"Your wife is not having another kid." Piccolo growled out, "Krillin is just being an idiot."

"Oh." Goku responded as his ever present grin returned to his face.

Bulma groaned and stood up again, "Okay Krillin I'll give you another shot at it. He is a Saiyan that is shorter then Goku, and he has spiky Black hair."

Krillin turned around, "Gohan, aren't you a little young to be having children? Does your mom know about this?" Krillin watched yet again as everyone fell over. "Man, you people keep falling over today. What's wrong?"

Bulma humphed, "Your and idiot. That's what's wrong. The father is Vegeta you numbskull."

Krillin gasped, "Vegeta and Gohan. No way." Krillin was about to continue when he watched everyone not fall down. Instead he watched as everyone began beating the living tar out of him from all different directions. After a couple minutes of senseless violence they backed off and let Krillin try and stand up. With a shaky gasp he managed to breathe out one word, "Raditz?"

"Vegeta and Bulma." Piccolo said harshly, making it clear to Krillin who the parents really were.

Krillin looked shocked, "Woah, that's the most unlikely one yet."

-- End Story --

"You see, even monks can be dumber then Kakarott sometimes." Vegeta said as he walked across the blank screen, "Stay tuned for our next episode, where we will be looking at an in-depth story about what happens when a Judge tries to sentence me to do community service. I have been your host, Vegeta no Ouji, see you later."

You sit up in your chair and watch as some random person tells you what is coming up next, "Stay tuned to see the brand new music video from the spice boys." you watch as they show a preview of the song.

You can see the band in the background singing (to the tune of 'I can see clearly now'.) , "I can see Krillin now, his brain is gone. I can see no hair on his head..." The news caster comes back on. "This song seems to have dug the spice boys out of their year long funk by putting them back at the top of the charts by beating out such hits as the 'You are my sunshine' duet sung by Piccolo and Gohan. Then there is the former top of the charts song 'The wheels on the bus go round and round' sung by Freeza and the jets."

You switch the T.V. off and get up off your lazy butt. You just remember that you have a Mr. Satan convention to go to and you need to go and attach your fake chin, and chest hair.

Brenman: Please review, and one (maybe more) lucky reviewer(s) (if I have even one by then) will get a cameo in the next you don't want a chance at a cameo, just say so in your review.


	2. Community Service

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Nike, or Mythbusters.

Brenman: Here is chapter 2, and so far so good. I haven't accidentally added a plot in yet, and I don't plan to.

You're watching the Television with your ultra-mega-super-humongously-large soft drink in your lap. You can feel the bones in your thighs beginning to crack from the strain. You hear a loud snapping noise and quickly decide to push the drink off yourself. The soft drink drenches the floor, but you decide to clean it up later, because your favorite T.V. host has just walked onto the screen.

"Hello, " he begins, "I am Vegeta no Ouji, and you have just entered a place where everyone has stupid names, gravity goes on strike, and people get blown up because I felt like it. This is the Kakarott Zone." The camera zooms away from Vegeta as his highness begins walking forward, "Today you will see a story about community service and why judges shouldn't get on my bad side."

Warning: This story contains Vegeta. Viewer discretion is advised.

-- Community Service --

Judge Kenshin-Battosai's gavel fell down for the third and final time as the robed man gave his verdict, "I hear by sentence Vegeta no Ouji to one hundred hours of community service for blowing up South city because he thought it would be an adequate punishment for one of the streetlights making him wait too long." Kenshin-Battosai stood up, followed shortly by Vegeta himself.

Vegeta glared at the judge, "I hear by sentence you to one Big Bang Attack." Vegeta stuck his hand out with his palm facing the judge in his trademark attack. "Case closed!" he yelled and fired a large ki blast at the helpless reviewer, I mean judge. Vegeta picked up his jacket from where it was slung over his chair. Everyone else in the courtroom backed away slightly as he passed them. as he walked out the door he called over his shoulder, "Court is adjourned."

Vegeta exited the room to come face to face with a very irate Bulma. The blue haired scientist turned and began walking beside him. "Could you stop blowing up your judges? You're still going to do that community service. This doesn't change anything."

Vegeta humphed and picked Bulma up and flew home. He looked down at Bulma when he heard her grumbling, "What now?"

Bulma glared up at him, "Couldn't you have waited until we were outside before taking off?" Bulma huffed as she proceeded to brush pieces of ceiling off of herself.

-- A Couple Hours Later --

Vegeta was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when he turned to look at his wife with a questioning look on his face, "What am I going to have to do for this community service?"

Bulma looked at him and an evil grin spread itself across her face. Bulma leaned in and whispered something in the Saiyan princes ear. Vegeta's face fell faster then the profits of an all you can eat buffet with Goku nearby. "You can't be serious. I won't do it. Besides, wouldn't they want someone who actually knows what their doing?"

Bulma looked at him, "You'll manage."

Vegeta turned to look at the ceiling again, "Yes I will manage, because I won't be doing that."

Bulma grinned her evil wife look and began petting Vegeta's chest sensually, "Well then, if you won't do that. I guess what you will be doing is getting better acquainted with the couch."

Vegeta squirmed for a couple of seconds before giving up, "Oh fine. You win woman. I'll do it."

-- One Week Later --

"All right class, " Vegeta spoke up in a very pissed off sounding tone that told all his students that he was not to be messed with. He had to raise his voice very slightly so that everyone in the tiny classroom of the dimly lit high school could hear him, "I will be your knitting instructor for the next couple of weeks."

The class of old ladies and three middle aged men cheered enthusiastically. Vegeta nearly puked when one old shriveled up raisin of a granny blew a kiss at him. Vegeta suddenly heard a familiar voice by the door, "Sorry, am I la... late, Vegeta what are you doing here?" Vegeta turned to see android 18 walk into his class room and take a seat.

Vegeta stared at her and inwardly groaned for a second, "As I was saying. I will be your instructor for a couple weeks." Vegeta heard a loud bang come from the back of the classroom and looked up to see 18 lying on the floor under a twisted heap of metal that was once her desk.

18 pulled herself up from her awkward position quickly and started yelling at Vegeta, "Vegeta, you're our instructor? Do you even know how to knit?"

Vegeta grinned at the android, "You may not approve of my methods, but the product will be the same."

18 sat down in a different desk and tried to figure out what Vegeta meant.

Vegeta began looking at the rest of the class, "Okay class. I want you to come up and get your supplies." Vegeta motioned to the counter behind him.

One of the old ladies raised her hand, "But sir, there aren't any knitting supplies there."

Vegeta blasted the insolent woman into vapors and then gestured to a pile of red bricks behind him. "Everyone come up here and grab a brick." The class gulped and quickly ran up to the front and grabbed one of the bricks. Everyone except android 18, who decided to take a leisurely stroll up to the front of the class.

When everyone was seated again Vegeta turned and walked out the door of the classroom and yelled back at the rest of the people, "Follow me." The class was quick to comply. Within minutes they were all outside the school and walking down the street. "Okay class, here's how you are supposed to knit." Vegeta came to a stop outside of a clothing store that had a a display in the front with a knit sweater on a mannequin. Vegeta pulled back his arm and hurled the brick through the glass at an inhuman speed. The alarms went of inside the store and Vegeta reached over and yanked the sweater off the mannequin

The class ran for it as soon as they saw what he was doing. They ran a couple of blocks away and waited for the insane black haired person to join them along with their insane blonde haired classmate. Seconds later they were caught up to by the aforementioned duo. "That class," Vegeta shouted, "is how you knit. I want you go out and do just that. I will meet you all back in the class room in one hour. If you haven't managed to knit anything in that time, I will kill you. If you have gotten arrested. Your out of luck. See you soon." Vegeta walked off in the direction of the school, pleased that his class had gone so well.

-- Commercial Break --

The Kakarott Zone will be back after this message from our sponsor. That's right folks, SPONSOR, as in we could only get one.

Nike Condoms; Just do it.

Seriously. That's our sponsor. That's not very good.

-- Back to story --

Vegeta surveyed the class with keen eyes. "Only four people came back. Pitiful."

One of the men from the class had come back with a red and green knitted sweater with a picture of Mr. Satan on the front. two of the little old ladies had returned sporting two pieces of knitted goods each, and android 18 was there, and it looked like she had use Vegeta's knitting technique to knit herself a whole new wardrobe.

-- The Next Morning --

Bulma sat at the kitchen table with her cup of coffee in hand as she listened to the radio. She perked up when she heard the top news story of the day. It seems that the previous night, police arrested eleven people in separate places at separate times for attempting to steal knitted goods from stores in downtown West city. "Vegeta?" she called out.

"What?" came his reply from upstairs.

"How did your class go last night?" She asked.

"Very good, " He answered, "And now even better, because I have just convinced a certain eleven store owners to press charges."

Bulma scowled as she heard Vegeta begin laughing." Next time. I won't make him do it."

-- End Story --

"The Moral of the story?" Vegeta began, "Don't ever sentence me to community service, and having a cameo on this show can be dangerous to your health. Tune in next time as we examine a sentence that should never have existed, and brush up on some old rock bands. Goodbye." Vegeta walks off the screen and you switch the T.V. off. No point in keeping it on, the next show is myth busters, and you've been boycotting them ever since the episode where they said that the myth about the Dragonballs was busted.

Brenman: I already have the next Chapter written, but I think I'll wait until tomorrow to post it. Review, Review, Review. Oh, and Review.


	3. The Phantom Of The Opera Themed Room

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ (fingers crossed)

Brenman: Hope you enjoy the latest episode of the Kakarott Zone.

You walk into your living room after a hard day of avoiding work and realize that you have forgotten to clean up the sticky mess on your floor that was once a gigantic soda. Oh well. It will just have to wait for another couple of days, because you have better things to do.

You settle into your chair once more for another bone chilling tale from the very pits of H.F.I.L. itself. The host of the program walks on and stares directly at you. "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji and welcome to my world. You are entering a place that only has one rule. If you open an all you can eat buffet, you will go bankrupt. You have just entered The Kakarott Zone. Today we will be examining why some things should be left unsaid. Like a certain very long sentence near the end of this story. Prepare yourself for a tale that I like to call, The Phantom of The Opera Themed Room." The screen fades to black and Vegeta's smirking face fades into the shadows.

-- The Phantom of The Opera Themed Room --

Gohan and the terrible duo, aka. Trunks and Goten, were walking down the street to meet Gohan's Friends from school. They were all supposed to meet up out side Videl's house. It had been Erasa's idea that they all go out to see a movie at the new cinema in town. The movie they had all agreed to see was The Lord of the Satans; The fellowship of the Satan, staring Mr. Satan and directed by Peter Jacksatan. This should be interesting.

Gohan and the boys stopped at the large gates to the Satan manor and were greeted by the bubbly blond Erasa and her self loving friend Sharpener. "Hey guys, how's it going?"

Erasa smiled the way only a blond could, "It's going great cutie pie. Were just waiting for Videl to come out. Oh. they're so cute." Erasa bent down and began cooing over the two chibi's.

Gohan nodded and turned to look at the front door of the house. "Wow. That sure is one big house. Although, it's not nearly as big as Capsule corp." Gohan said as he gazed at the large mansion. "Not to mention the architecture is a bit over the top."

Sharpener grinned, "Of course it is, the house is owned by the one and only Mr. Satan. You couldn't expect him to live in an ordinary house. This house was built by famed architect Jack Durning."

"Wow. Jack Durning built Videl's house. He's the most famous architect alive today." Gohan said as he instantly put on his nerd voice. "He's the guy that built that hotel entirely out of Coke cans and used bubble gum."

Sharpener continued on with trying to impress everyone with his knowledge of the Satan house. "Mr. Satan has lots of specialty training equipment that requires lots of power. The house was specifically designed to allow for a power conversion box that allow both kinds of electricity at very high levels. The house is sectioned into different areas that each had differently themed rooms. Like the safari room or the outer space room. Your know. Like at a fancy hotel."

Gohan grinned, "Way to go Sharpener. Did you memorize that out of a text book?"

Sharpener growled, "No. It was a pamphlet from when I took the tour." Sharpener blinked a couple of times and then decided to shut up after everyone had begun laughing at him.

After fifteen minutes the group were still waiting outside and they were beginning to get impatient. Erasa looked at her watch, "What is taking her so long? She should have been out here at least ten minutes ago."

Sharpener began looking worried, "Maybe the phantom got her."

Erasa looked at her stupid friend, "The phantom. That's just a myth Sharpener."

Sharpener looked at Erasa coldly, "How can you be sure?"

The blonds shuddered together as the Saiyans looked at them oddly. Finally Goten spoke up, "What's the phantom?"

Sharpener decided that since he was the expert he should let Erasa explain, "The Phantom is a evil presence that haunts the opera themed room on the second floor that is called heaven. See the floors have names. The basement level is called hell, the main floor is earth, and the second floor is heaven. He tries to capture people and then kill them with his painful medieval torture machine. Legend has it that it is the ghost of a criminal with a grudge against Videl. Apparently the Phantom has been trying for the past couple years to get Videl and her large hearing impaired wild cat pet."

Gohan sweat dropped, 'Why are they talking so weird?' he thought to himself, but then remembered that this wouldn't be the weirdest thing that he had ever heard, "That's pretty crazy sounding Sharpener. Could this phantom have really gotten her?"

Sharpener glared at Gohan, "It is a possibility, but what I have told you isn't everything. The phantom wants to kill Videl and then escape from earth on it's blimp made of a very heavy material. It is widely believed that his intended destination would be the side of the moon that we cannot see."

Gohan was worried now, "We have to go and save her."

Sharpener grabbed Gohan's sleeve, "Wait nerd boy, you must also know that the phantom will try and stop you by pushing rocks down the stairs. Let's go."

The group pushed the gates open and ran up the drive towards the house. they slowly opened the door and proceeded.

So, in other words, the Motley Crew walked into The House That Jack Built with AC/DC power on High Voltage so that they could find the Phantom Of The Opera themed room, while avoiding his Rolling Stones on the Stairway to Heaven before he could kill Videl and her Deaf Leopard with his Iron Maiden before escaping in his Lead Zeppelin to The Dark Side Of The Moon.

That is one long sentence. Try saying that five times fast.

The group walked into the house to find Videl sitting on the floor in front of them trying to tie her shoes, all the while grumbling to herself, "Stupid laces. I knew I should have gotten Velcro."

The group looked down at her dumbfounded, "Hey Videl. Do you need help tying your laces?" Trunks asked, "I learned how to tie mine last year."

Sharpener looked at Videl smugly, "So did I."

-- Screen Fades To Black --

Vegeta walked back onto the screen, "I hope you enjoyed that wonderful story, because I sure didn't. The stupidity of the characters made me puke a couple times. Tune in next time as you watch the Z gang in their Capsule Corp Mystery Machine try and solve mysteries with their faithful dog Yamucha. Have fun and drive safe."

Brenman: (Insert typical pathetic author plee for reviews.) and please, no one comment on how I spelled the bands names wrong, that is on purpose.


	4. Scooby Yamucha And The Mystery Of The Mo

Disclaimer: I hearby declare that I do not own DBZ, or just about anything else for that matter. I am just a poor little university student. So I own some text book, and a bus pass.

Brenman: You know. I'm running out of things to say at the beginning and end of my fics. There is only so many ways you can beg for reviews with out it getting stale.

Your standing in your living room with an old mop in hand. You wipe the sweat off you brow and look at your nice clean floor. Your proud of yourself for finally cleaning up that mess you made when you spilled your industrial sized vat of soda on the floor. You glance at your watch and realize that your favorite show will be starting in a matter of minutes. You spin around and begin running across the house to put the broom away. Unfortunately , you have forgotten the first thing about mopping the floor. Afterwards, it's wet. You slip on the slick wooden surface and fall flat on your back. You groan and think to yourself how it would be great if you had one of those 'Caution, Wet Floor' signs to remind yourself not to run in the house.

You get up and carefully walk over to the closet and put the cleaning supplies away. You return to the living room with just as much caution and sit down in your favorite chair. You grab a bowl of cold popcorn that has been sitting beside the couch for a couple of weeks and begin eating out of it. You're being extra careful to avoid the pieces of popcorn that have eyes or the ones that are moving. You pick up the television remote and flick the screen on before briefly wondering to yourself weather popcorn is supposed to squeal for help as you eat it. For the next couple minutes you intently watch the boring news about how Mr. Satan is so awesome and then a preview for the new upcoming movie, Hercule Satan and the Chamber of secrets. You make a mental note to go see the movie the first day it is released.

The screen fades to black and Vegeta walks on to the stage. "Hello and welcome to the terrifying place known only as The Kakarott Zone. I am Vegeta no Ouji, your host. Today we will be watching a tale about a gang of 'ordinary' people that just happen to run into a an unordinary number of 'mysteries'. This is a tale I like to call Scooby Yamucha and the mystery of the moaning ghost.

-- Scooby Yamucha And The Mystery Of The Moaning Ghost --

Goku and his mystery gang were driving down the highway in their funky colored Capsule Corporation Mystery Machine, or was it their Capsule Corp Conundrum Car. They were supposed to be driving to Krillin's uncle's house. Krillins uncle was the proud owner of a dairy plant just on the other side of West City and Goku was excited because places like dairy plants or warehouses were almost always full of mysteries. Goku looked at the sky, It was beginning to cloud over and they could see a huge storm brewing above them. "We'll be getting to your uncles place in about half an hour." Goku called over his shoulder to Krillin.

Krillin looked up from where he was sitting in the back seat petting his faithful dog Yamucha. "I hope we can get there before this storm opens up." He said with out much hope in his voice. As soon as the words left his mouth the rain began. Within minutes the rain had escalated into a torrential downpour complete with lightning and high winds. "I guess I spoke too soon." Krillin said from where he and Yamucha were hiding from the lightning under the seat.

Goku parked the van on the side of the road and shut the engine off. There was no use in continuing the drive. He couldn't see anything out the front windshield, and the Wipers couldn't keep up with the rain. Goku turned to the front passenger seat to look at his wife Chi Chi, "Looks like were going to have to be staying here until the rain stops." Goku then turned to look behind him and briefly wondered to himself just how the two scaredy dogs managed to fit underneath the seat.

Krillin and Yamucha were suddenly pulled out from their hiding place by a pair of hands that upon further inspection Krillin found belonged to his wife Eighteen. "Krillin, why do you have to be such a coward some times? It's just lightning. It's not going to hurt you. I just might if you don't grow a spine, but it won't." Krillin look at his blond haired wife and nodded meekly.

Eighteen put them both down on their seat and turned herself around to look at her other companions. "Now what?"

Goku scratched the back of his head in thought. He looked out the side window just as a bright streak of lightning illuminated at large yellow domed house near where they parked. "I know. Let's go ask the people that live in that house over there if they will let us stay until the storm blows over."

Chi Chi shook her head, "Goku dear, we do that every time we go for a drive and a storm shows up. Which just happens to be almost every time. Not once have we ever gone into a house when it's raining and not been attacked by the caretaker wearing a very elaborate disguise."

Goku looked at her in awe, "But Chi Chi. That's what we do. Let's go you guys." Goku reached into the back of the van and pulled the rest of the group out the drivers side door with him and ran up to the house.

Once they arrived at the front door the whole group huddled together underneath the overhang to try and stay warm and dry. Naturally they were failing in both those fields. Goku reached forward and pushed the doorbell. The whole group heard the loud bell ring inside the spacious house and they waited for a couple of minutes. Krillin reached up and pressed the doorbell a second time and still, there was no answer at the door.

"I guess there's no one home." Chi Chi said and was about to begin running back to the van when Goku stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

Goku turned her around , "This smells like a mystery." he said in a happy voice, "Why would there be no one home?"

Chi Chi rolled her eyes, "Piano recital. On holidays. Out shopping. I don't know, there are a million reasons why they wouldn't be home right now." Chi Chi once again was about to rush back to the van and once again she was stopped.

Goku reached forward and pushed the door open. "The door wasn't even closed. I say were check it out. The house is probably haunted." Goku pulled his four companions into the front hall with him. "Krillin, Eighteen, and Yamucha. You guys can go search down that hall," Goku said and pointed down a hall way to their left. "and we will go and look down the hallway to the right." The group split up and began looking around the large house. Most of the lights were off, giving the house a dark feeling.

Krillin shivered in fright, he didn't like dark feelings, "I don't want to be here." he said to his dog friend.

"Scooby Dooby Yamucha." came the dogs reply.

The group of three continued on for a couple of minutes until they came upon a stair case that led up to the second floor. "Your going to make us go up there, aren't you Eighteen?" Krillin asked his wife.

The android nodded in response, "You betcha." she laughed as her wimpy husband groaned. Krillin pulled Yamucha closer to himself as the hallway was lit up by a bright streak of lightning outside. The android reached out and pulled the two cowering comrades up the stairs and into the unknown.

Goku and Chi Chi were still wandering around the first floor. They had been for the last ten minutes. Goku had already stumbled across the kitchen and thoroughly checked to make sure that none of the food was haunted. After they had left the kitchen they had wandered around looking into all the rooms they came across just as they came across a stairway that led up to the next level they heard a blood curdling scream that sounded like Krillin and Yamucha. The two looked at each other and rushed up the stairs to try and find their friends.

It didn't take long. After just one minute of running they rounded a corner and ran head first into the other group of explorers. "What was that scream about?" Chi Chi asked while trying to catch her breath.

Eighteen looked up from her place on the floor with fright in her eyes, "We saw a ghost. And then we ran away and now we ran into you guys."

Goku got up from his place on the floor and helped pick up Krillin and dust him off. Once everyone was standing again Goku took charge, "Where was this ghost. We will unravel this mystery yet."

Krillin pointed in the direction that they had come from and the group began cautiously moving in the same direction. After two minutes of tip toeing through the house Krillin held up his hand to signal them to stop and pointed at a doorway across the hall. Goku slowly walked up and peered through the door way. What he saw was a horrible sight. There was a pure white ghost in the middle of the room and it was making scary sounding groaning and moaning noises. Goku bravely stepped out from his position and marched over to the ghost.

The rest of the group looked on in horror as their fearless leader reached out and grabbed onto the ghost and pulled, revealing that the ghost was in fact just a bed sheet. Goku looked down and grinned, "There's nothing to worry about guy. It's not a ghost. It's just Bulma and Vegeta playing bedroom twister."

-- The End --

The screen once again faded to black and Vegetas' face appeared on screen. "The real horror folks, is what I did to kakarott after he pulled the bed sheet off. Baka. Anyway, that was today's episode of The Kakarott Zone. Stay tuned for the next episode where I will be staring in a parody of a popular movie series that I like to call Ouji's Eleven. Good night." Vegeta's face fades into the darkness and you flick the television screen off.

You get up to go to bed for the night and you think to yourself, 'man, this is one awesome show.'

Brenman: Now I will be handing the reigns over to Vegeta for a second to beg shamelessly for reviews.

Vegeta: Hey You. Yes that's right, I'm talking to you. You better review or I'm going to shove a Big Bang Attack down your throat, or make you eat Chi Chis' cooking.

Brenman: That's not much of a punishment. Chi Chis' a great cook.

Vegeta: Did I forget to mention that I was going to piss on the food first?

Brenman: Oh. Okay. You know what Vegeta? I think you've scared the nice people enough for one day. Sorry about that. Really I am sorry. I should never have let him out of his cage.


	5. Going Live

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, but my buddy Vegeta says he's going to look into that for me, if . He thinks I could make it better. On the other hand, he's going to be wearing many more pink garments, so the jokes on him.

Brenman: I know I said I was going to do Ouji's Eleven, but I just felt like doing something shorter / easier (Hooray for laziness). Ouji's Eleven next time then. Hopefully.

You're sitting at your kitchen table studying for your entrance exam into the Hercule Satan school of awesomeness. You stare at the next question on the test and grin; You are facing off against an opponent that is vastly more powerful then you. You:

A) Fight them to the death.

B) Run away.

C) Beg for mercy.

D) Brag about how strong you are until some guys that are also way stronger then you kill them and you can steal their glory.

This is too easy. You quickly finish all the questions, and hurry into the living room, lest you miss your favorite television show. You flick the T.V. on and watch as Vegeta walks onto the screen. You remember that today is supposed to be a special episode.

Vegeta opens his mouth to start with his famous opening speech, "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji, and you are about to enter a place where pigs can't fly, but they can talk, and where Kakarott isn't always stupid. Just most of the time. You have entered , The Kakarott Zone."

Vegeta walks closer to the camera and adopts a more formal tone. "Today is a very special day. Not only will you be receiving two stories instead of one, but this is also going to be a live show. I hope you're ready, because here comes the first story. I like to call it, 'Angst To The Max.'

-- Angst To The Max --

Bulma died one day from a terrible disease.

Because Bulma died Vegeta committed Suicide.

Because both her parents were dead Bra committed suicide.

Because the rest of his family was dead, Trunks committed suicide.

Because Trunks committed suicide Goten committed suicide.

Because Goten Committed suicide, Chi Chi committed suicide.

Because Chi Chi committed suicide, both Goku and the Ox King committed suicide.

Because his parents and Brother were dead, Gohan committed suicide.

Because Gohan was dead, Videl and Piccolo committed suicide.

Because Her parents were dead Pan committed suicide.

Because Videl had died, Sharpener and Erasa committed suicide.

Because Pan had committed suicide, Hercule satan committed suicide.

Because the world champ was dead, everyone else except the Z fighters committed suicide.

Because it seemed to be the latest fad, and hoping it would make him better with the ladies, Master Roshi committed suicide.

Because Master Roshi Committed suicide, Krillin committed suicide.

Because Krillin committed suicide, Eighteen committed suicide.

Because her parent committed suicide, Marron committed suicide.

Because he was a looser, Yamucha committed suicide.

Because Yamucha committed suicide, Tien committed suicide.

Because Tien committed suicide, Choutzu and Launch both committed suicide.

Because almost everyone was dead, Yajirobe ate all the food out of a bunch of deserted bakeries and died.

Because Yajirobe was dead, Corin committed suicide.

Because almost everyone he was supposed to be guarding were dead, Dende committed suicide.

Because Dende committed suicide, Mr. Popo and elder Mori committed suicide.

Because the elder committed suicide, so did all the other Namekians.

Because all the Dragonballs were gone. No one could be wished back.

-- The End --

Vegeta was rolling around on the ground laughing uncontrollably. He slowly got up and looked at the camera. "That would never happen because I wouldn't commit suicide because some stupid human woman died."

Bulma suddenly burst into the room and grabbed Vegeta by the ear, "Say that again mister and you're sleeping on the couch for the next month. Suddenly Goku popped into existence in the middle of the room with two fingers on his forehead. Goku was in hysterics. "Say it isn't true Vegeta. Did we really all commit suicide. I don't remember committing suicide. Do you? Chi Chi can't be dead, I saw her ten minutes ago. Why are you lying to these people?"

Vegeta turned to stare coldly at his peasant, "This is why I never do live shows. Anyway, while I'm sorting this out, you can watch the next horrifyingly stupid story. It's called 'Attack Of The Ultimate Mary Sue.'

-- Attack Of The Ultimate Mary Sue --

I had been sitting at my Computer typing away at another award winning fan fiction when my computer began making weird noises. Without warning I was sucked into the screen. I now found myself standing in front of my favorite Dragonball Z characters. And Behind them was none other then Majin Buu.

I looked down at myself and noticed that I was in a fighting Gi. I looked behind me and saw that I had a tail sticking out of the back of my pants. I was a Saiyan.

I decided to see how powerful I had become. I began powering up and my power skyrocketed. In a matter of seconds I had transformed into a Super Saiyan 45. My body was covered in golden hair from head to toe. I looked like a spiky golden sasquatch, and I made it look good. I looked at Majin Buu and blinked my eyes. This simple motion caused Buu to be blown into infinite pieces so that he could never come back again.

I powered down and changed back into my normal level, as all the Z fighters came over to grovel at my feet.

-- The End --

The screen faded to black and then was replaced with a scene of Vegeta, Bulma and Goku all throwing up on the floor. "Who wrote that story? That truly was the most horrifying thing I have ever witnessed." Vegeta continued with his retching. You couldn't blame him. That story nearly had you chucking your cookies.

After Vegeta and his guest stars had stopped vomiting Vegeta stood up again, "Tune in next time to watch what kind of elaborate plans I can come up with in Ouji's Eleven.

Brenman: As you can tell. This whole chapter was making fun of Angsty fics and Mary Sues.


	6. The Goku and Vegeta Hour

Disclaimer: I can't say I don't own Dragonball Z, but I can type it.

Brenman: I know this is the second time that I haven't submitted Ouji's Eleven, but It's really difficult to write and the file went and got corrupt on me. I really don't feel like trying to rewrite it so soon. Maybe in a chapter or two. Sorry about the long wait between chapters, but I have been busy. And lazy. Please forgive me.

You sit down in your favorite chair in your favorite living room in front of your favorite television. Of course, you don't actually turn the television on. Instead you turn on the radio. You remember that today the Kakarott zone was canceled because the host is busy working on his radio show. So you have decided to listen in, instead of watching some stupid football game that they were using for filler. I don't know, it was called the super bowl or something like that.

You twirl the dial in the radio like an expert and eventually arrive at the proper radio station. Shortly afterwards a really annoying car ad comes on and you shut the radio off for a couple of minutes. When you turn it back on you find that the show has just begun.

-- The Goku and Vegeta Hour --

Goku: Hi everyone.

Vegeta: Kakarott, could you try and be a bit more formal?

Goku: Only if you let me have some of your lunch.

Vegeta: For the last time Kakarott. You are not getting any of my lunch.

Goku: But I forgot to pack a lunch of my own.

Vegeta: Your harpy packed one for you.

Goku: No she didn't. I can't find it anywhere.

Vegeta: What you've forgotten is that you've already eaten it.

Goku: Oh. right.

Vegeta: Anyway. Back to the show.

Goku: That's right, and we're going to start things off with a bang. It's time for the daily episode of guess that sound. Do we have a caller on the line.

Vegeta: Yes we do. Hello?

Caller: Hello.

Vegeta: Who is this?

Caller: My name is Bruce Willis.

Goku: Wow. The Bruce Willis?

Bruce: No. Just some random guy named Bruce Willis.

Goku: Oh shucks.

Vegeta: Anyway. Do you know all the rules?

Bruce: Sure do.

Vegeta: Well Bruce, if you can get at least two out of the three sounds right today. You will win an all inclusive all expenses paid trip to lovely down town South City.

Goku: Okay. time to get this started. Here's your first sound coming up.

Sound clip: GHAPHAGAXTPLCK

Goku: Do you want to make a guess?

Bruce: Um... I think that was the sound of a person choking on a banana.

Goku: Ooh. Close, but no cigar. That was actually the sound of Vegeta forcing a ham sandwich down Krillins throat. Here comes the next sound.

Sound Clip: BANG CRASH BOOM BANG PHATOOM CABLOOY.

Goku: Any Ideas?

Bruce: That's a tough one. Is it a car crash.

Goku: No. That is the sound of myself attempting to take swimming lessons at the YMCA. There wasn't much of the building left standing after that class.

Bruce: Eh heh.

Goku: Here is your last sound.

Sound Clip: AAAGH VEGETA WHAT ARE YOU DOINNNNNNNG.

Goku: Okay. If you get this right you could still win the tickets to Cirque du Satan.

Bruce: Okay, It has something to do with Vegeta. I'm betting it's the sound of him beating some one up.

Goku: Once again. Close, but it was actually the sound of Vegeta shoving a pine cone up Piccolos' a-

Vegeta: Kakarott. You can't say that on Radio. There could be kids listening.

Goku: Opps. Sorry. Well what ever the sound was. Mr. Willis lost.

Vegeta: Now. Get off our telephone lines you worm.

Bruce: Oka-Click.

Vegeta: that's better. He was annoying me anyway.

Goku: And I guess it's time for our first song. and its going to be in everyone's favorite section. That's right folks. It's time for Sinatra for the crossword lover.

Vegeta: It may be retarded, but it gets good ratings. Kind of like my co-host over here.

-- Caffeinated Beverage song --

Way down among - **People that live in largest country of South America** -

- **Caffeinated Beverage** - beans - **Get larger** - by the billions

So they've got to - **Locate** - those extra cups to fill

They've got an awful - **Much** - of - **Tea Brother** - in brazil

You cant get - **type of berry** - soda

cause they've got to fill that quota

And the way things are Ill bet they never will

They've got a - **Not a real number** - -** lots** - of - **Caffeinated Beverage** - in brazil

No tea or - **Ketchup base **- juice

You'll see no - **Ground apple** - juice

The - **Person who plants** - down in santos all say no no no

The politicians - **Female child** -

Was accused of drinking -** H2O** -

And was -** Charged for offenses** - a great big fifty dollar bill

They've got an awful lot of - **Good with cream and sugar** - in brazil

You date a - **young woman** - and find out later

She smells just like a - **Coffee maker** -

Her perfume was made right on the - **Cook hamburgers on** -

Why they could percolate the - **large body of water** - in brazil

And when their -** breakfast food from pigs **- and - **Breakfast food from chickens** - need savor

Coffee -** Red sauce made from tomatoes** - gives em flavor

Coffee - **Tangy green thing** - way outsell the dill

Why they put coffee in the coffee in brazil

So your lead to the - **Close by** - color

- **Giving to** - coffee with a cruller

Dunking doesn't take a lot of - **Required to do something tricky** -

They've got an awful lot of coffee in - **Largest country in South America** -

Goku: That ends that session of Sinatra for the cross word lover. We hope you enjoyed it.

Vegeta: I sure as heck didn't. I don't know why I agreed to put my show on hold so that I could sit in a cramped booth with you for a whole day.

Goku: Is it because you think I smell good?

Vegeta: ...

Goku: Vegeta? Are you okay? You don't look to good. In fact, you look like your about to throw up.

For the next couple of minutes they play another song. (I am awesome, by Mr. Satan.)

Goku: Okay. We're back and ready to go. Vegeta's fine now, and It's time to take calls from listeners. Hello?

Caller: Hello. my name is Mary. I live in west city. In fact I live in west city two blocks over from Capsule Corp. Or should I say, I used to live there. I would just like to address this to my former neighbor and say. Your kid blew up my house again. Thank you. CLICK.

Goku: Well, isn't that nice. I friendly chat between neighbors.

Vegeta: I never did like that old bat. Come to think about it, I told the brat to blow her house up. Heh. In your face Mary. That'll teach you for having your dog $h17 on our lawn. let's see, if memory serves me, that's the third time Trunks has done that. I'll have to raise his allowance.

Goku: How could you raise his allowance. He already gets more in a week then I get in a whole year.

Vegeta: What's you point?

Goku: Okay, next caller. Who is this?

Caller: This is Betty from Chicago.

Goku: Where?

Betty: Chicago.

Goku: Sorry never heard of the place.

Betty: It's in the USA.

Goku: Where?

Betty: The United States of America.

Goku: Never heard of it. It must be small and insignificant.

Betty: Anyway. I like to think of myself as an expert on relationships, and I really think that Vegeta is in love with you, and that he really does love your smell.

Goku: Really you think s- Vegeta? where are you going? Oh he just ran into the bathroom. I can hear him throwing up. I tend to think that you're wrong about that, Betty.

Betty: I've never been wrong before. Good bye.

Goku: Bye, and now I have to figure out how to put the next song on. Lets see. Is it this button here?

Sound of toilet flushing

Goku: I guess not. How about this one?

Sound of someone farting

Goku: Not that either. Third times the charm.

Sound of a car horn honking

Goku: Ooh. I know. It's probably this button right here that says self-destruct on it.

The station went fuzzy and you could no longer hear the show. Oh well. You'll find out what happened tomorrow morning on the news. You turn the radio off and begin singing and dancing to the imaginary beat of your favorite song by Mr. Satan.

Brenman: Until next time. Review like there's no tomorrow. Even though I'm betting there probably will be.


	7. Oujis' Eleven

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a really cool guy named Brenman. He didn't own Dragonball Z. Therefore he didn't live happily ever after. What a sad story.

Brenman: Okay, now I'm really angry. Sorry about taking so long to get this up, but in the time since I last posted (you may remember that the Ouji's Eleven file got corrupted), well I had three more versions of Ouji's Eleven corrupt on me since then. Nothing else I write gets corrupted. just this story. As you may imagine, I'm really annoyed. My computer obviously doesn't like this story.

-- Anyway After the Rambling is Finished --

You look around your living room with a proud look on your face. You've just finished installing your 500 speaker surround sound home theater system and your ready for the test run. You decided that your old 300 speaker unit just wasn't loud enough. The extra 200 speakers should add that extra kick to get your ears bleeding. You plop your self down in front of your 142 inch plasma T.V. that you bought last week and prepare your self for the beginning of season two of The Kakarott Zone. Season one was unfortunately cut short when the Television studio had major file corruption. Apparently these problems had something to do with when the nearby radio station unexpectedly blew up.

You turn the volume up with your universal remote and watch as the paint begins peeling off the walls. Oh yes, everything sounds better through broken ear drums. You put your full attention to the television screen as the host of everyone's favorite T.V. show walks onto the screen. "Hello viewers. I am Vegeta no Ouji and I would like to welcome you to a brand new season of The Kakarott Zone. A place where ripping your own ears off isn't always a bad thing. (A/N: See the Lord Slug movie.) Today we will be watching a story about a daring daylight robbery that I like to title, Ouji's Eleven. Enjoy."

The screen fades to black and you shake with excitement. Never mind that's the whole house shaking. Maybe you should turn the volume down just a little bit.

-- Oujis' Eleven --

Vegeta walked out of the dimly lit high school in West city and looked around him. "I can't believe I actually taught that damn class for four months. That's the last time I agree to do community service. Besides, all I did was blow up a city. It's not that big of a deal. So king Yemma's got a bit more work to take care of. Who cares, no one likes him anyway. His temper's even shorter then mine, and he's nowhere near as good looking. Seriously, red skin and horns went out of style over four centuries ago." Vegeta stopped his useless monolog when he realized he was rambling and no one else was paying any attention to his awesome princly-ness. He turned towards Capsule Corp. and took off in search of a full, if not for long, refrigerator.

-- Somewhere in the 439 Mountain Region --

Smoke was curling up from the chimney of the quaint little house as Goten, the youngest of the Son males expertly chopped wood into neat blocks and placed then in a pile beside the house. It's like Son Chi Chi always said, 'child labour is the greatest thing since studying'. Goten looked up from his wood chopping duties when the phone began ringing. Gotens little Saiyan ears perked up as he listened to the conversation to see whether or not it was Trunks calling for him.

"Hello?"...

"Oh, hey Veggie."...

"Ow... Why do you have to yell so loud."...

Goten went back to his slave labour, It was just Mr. Vegeta calling to talk to his dad.

-- 17 or so Feet Northwest of Goten --

"So, your finally finished with that community service thing you had to do?" Goku said over the phone.

"Yeah. Now Kakarott listen up, I have a plan. I need you to assemble a list of possible team members and meet me at my place tomorrow morning." Vegeta's stern voice sounded impatient over the phone.

"Sure thing Vegeta. This is going to be so much fun." Goku squealed, "Is it going to be like last time when we planned to hold up that Mc Capsule corp. but only ended up eating them out of business because we were so hungry.?"

Vegeta sighed, "Something like that."

CLICK

Goku looked at the receiver in his hand and smiled. "Yippee. Hanging out with Vegeta is always so much fun. I guess I better get started on that list, but I could go for a Mc Capsule corp. Big Chubby Whopper Mac Chicken Sandwich right now."

-- A Conveniently Placed Capsule Corp Living Room the Next Morning --

Vegeta stared across the top of his interlaced fingers at his partner in fun. Goku stared back at him, occasionally glancing down at the scrap of paper in front of him. Vegeta licked his lips and began, "Kakarott, would you like to explain to me why our list of possible candidates is written on a piece of toilet paper? One that's been used by the smell of it."

Goku coughed nervously, "You see, I was really craving a Burger last night after talking about our last heist and I think the seventy three burgers I ate had gone bad. Long story short. I knew you would be mad if I didn't make the list and I was stuck in the bathroom all night and I really need to stock up on toilet paper." Goku smiled at his friend hoping his mood might improve.

Vegeta lifted his left hand and incinerated the offending list with a well placed, "Big Bang Attack!"

Goku looked up with a stupid grin on his face, "Big Bang attack would be the perfect way to describe my experiences in the bathroom last night."

Vegeta groaned loudly, "I did not need to know that you clown."

Goku looked at his hands and the last resting place of the infamous list. "What do we do now that the list is gone."

Vegeta shook his head, "It didn't matter, the list was just going to be all our friends anyway. And I use the term friends lightly."

"You mean Yamucha right?" Goku said disapprovingly, "You know there's nothing wrong with the guy. So he used to date Bulma. It's not like he's a threat."

Vegeta snorted, "Actually I was referring to you."

-- Commercial Break --

Mr. Announcer: "The Kakarott Zone will be back after this message from our sponsors. I knew this day would finally come. We have more then one sponsor."

Nike Condoms; Just do it.

GMC Condoms; Like a rock.

McDonald's Condoms; I'm Loving it.

Capsule corp. Condoms; Press this button and it gets bigger.

Mr. Announcer: "We really need to get better sponsors. We can only get condoms for some reason. Back to your regularly scheduled show."

-- Fourth Hole of the Satan Meadows Golf Course --

"Vegeta, tell me again why are we out golfing?" Goku whined.

"Because. It's what people do when they're talking." Vegeta said as he whacked yet another golf ball into orbit. "Now kakarott who was on that list? We need a large team to pull of such a high risk job. I hope the people you chose were all at least a little bit insane. They'll have to be.

"Vegeta what are we doing anyway." Goku eyed his spiky haired friend casually, "If I knew what kind of job we're supposed to be pulling I could put together a better team."

Vegeta smirked "When was the last time you were at Corin Tower?"

"Last week why?" Goku said cheerfully, "Oh... You want us to rob a talking cat and a fat monk? What are we after, a couple cans of tuna and a scratching post?"

Vegeta laughed, "Do you really think that stupid cat can only grow a handful of those Senzu beans every couple of years?" Vegeta sent another white orb into space, "There are enough beans up there to last us all a life time. Think about it Kakarott, those beans are worth more then gold. there like little kidney shaped diamonds. Except you can eat them, and they're cherry flavored."

By now Gokus' mouth was watering and the Saiyan prince had sent another forty-six golf balls flying into the side of the international space station. "Wow Vegeta, Your right. We may have just stumbled onto the mother load."

Vegeta bent his golfing stickamabob in half and threw it across the course. "Now Kakarott let's focus. Who can we trust to help up out?"

Goku rubbed his chin, for once wishing he could grow some stubble just to make this more interesting. "We need Krillin, He's to reliable to pass up, and he can help us with anything we need, and I've already got Buu lined up as our grease man. Screw little Asian people, you want a contortionist, go for a big piece of bubble gum."

Vegeta nodded his head sagely, "Who else, we need more."

Goku crossed his arms with a frown on his face. "Bulma with her technology along with Tien and Choutzu can cover us for surveillance. For once Tien's third eye can actually come in handy. I've never told him, but that thing just creeps me out." Goku pursed his lips before continuing on, "I guess if we have krillin working with us we can't keep out Eighteen. She's just to greedy, she'll want a part of the cut."

Vegeta snorted, "She can make the coffee or something, or do some knitting" A lone tear of proudness formed in the corner of his eye as he thought about his second best student, right after good ol' granny Higgs.

Goku began examining his nails, "I could really go for a manicure... I mean we could use Piccolo and Master Roshi as decoys. I think that should be enough right?"

Vegeta stood staring at the ground in silence. Goku watched him for a few seconds, "You think we need one more? You think we need one more. Okay, we'll get one more."

Vegeta frowned, "Sorry, what were you saying. I was too busy watching those ants have sex?"

Goku ignored him and put on his thinking cap (It was bright pink and said 'Goku's Brain for Prez' on the front). His face brightened up almost instantly, "Gohan can be the rookie. I'm sure he's up to it. All he has to do is act all eager and then screw everything up."

Vegeta rubbed his hands together with thunder and lightning in the background, "Perfect. We have our team. The board is set, the reign of Vegeta is at hand."

Goku looked at his friend like he'd lost his mind before remembering something else. "Hey Vegeta. Can you move, it's my turn to Golf." Goku bent down and placed a base ball on the tee. He turned around and pulled a tennis racquet out of his bag. "Five"

-- Corin Tower --

The group of eleven stood around the base of Corin Tower. Bulma looked up at the sheer magnitude of the structure. "Okay guys," she called out, "The camera's are all set up."

Vegeta smirked, "Perfect. Woman tell me, where are the two buffoons right now?"

Goku's Hand shot up, "I'm are right over here Vegeta. Oh, you weren't talking about me for once. Nevermind."

Bulma and Tien looked at the plethora of screens in front of them. Tien looked up, "I can't see them."

Piccolo suddenly jumped up from where he had been leaning against the tower, "I forgot to tell you guys. Corin and Yajirobe went on vacation to Mr. Satan World in Florida. They won't be back until next Monday."

Vegeta slapped his face, "Is anyone supposed to be watching the house?"

Piccolo nodded, "I am."

Vegeta rubbed his chin, "So no one is guarding the place. On one hand Corin tower has the most advanced electronic password encoded locks in the world. On the other hand this is too easy because they don't have and doors to attach the locks to."

Everyone stared at Vegeta, waiting for the next order. "Oh heck. Lets just get in there and loot the place." Vegeta took off towards the top of the tower.

-- Top of Corin Tower --

The members of Oujis' Eleven filed through the doorway only to come face to face with none other then Son Chi Chi with her deadly frying pan. The look she was giving the group was the stuff nightmares were made of. The thieves stopped in their tracks. Chi Chi sucked in a menacing breath before beginning her tirade. "Look at what you're all trying to turn my son into." The Ox princess pointed at Gohan, "A thief. He should be studying right now. I am ashamed of you all. I want you all to go to your rooms right now and think about what you've done. Go Go Go. Now."

Eleven sets of shoulders slumped. The group filed out of the room until only Goku, Vegeta and Chi Chi were left. Vegeta groaned, "How did you find out about this?"

Chi Chi smiled, "Gohan let it slip."

Vegeta slapped himself in the face, "It's always got to be the rookie."

-- The End --

"Well," Vegeta no Ouji said. "We didn't get what we went there for, but we did get grounded. That's way more fun then a bunch of beans."

Vegeta walked off screen and a preview for the latest movie came on. 'Satan Powers and the spy who might have had sex with me but they can't show it because it's rated PG (for Pretty Good).'

You would turn the television off right now, but you've already lapsed into a coma. Maybe the sound system was just a little overkill.

Brenman: If you don't review. I may be forced to come and install an insanely loud sound system in your house. I had originally intended to take this chapter in a completely different direction but with all the corruption's it ended up like this. All the earlier versions were longer then this even before they were done. But I like this one the best. It's funnier.


	8. License Revoked?

Disclaimer: If I owned Dragonball Z, this wouldn't be fan fiction would it? It would have actually happened.

Brenman: Here is another chapter of the Kakarott zone.

You're standing on your front lawn looking proudly at your new house. The last coat of paint had just been put on and you're ready to go inside and watch your favorite television show. You've finally learned your lesson. No more 500 speaker surround sound systems for you. The last ones accidentally knocked you old house down when you sat down on the T.V. remote and caused the volume to shoot up all the way to eleven. Luckily the company that makes your sound system had paid to have your house rebuilt. Could you really be faulted for accidentally mixing a couple details up and telling them you lived in a giant mansion with marble floors and bathrooms coming out the wazoo?

You sit down and smile at your brand new T.V. with the middle of the line 300 speaker system. You turn the volume up and settle back into your new leather recliner for some good old fashioned boob toobin'. You watch the last couple minutes of the news waiting impatiently for the show to change. Apparently, the Great Saiyaman received the key to Satan city. Pffft, Mr. Satan could kick his butt with both legs tied behind his back and a burlap sack over his head. The screen fades to black and the image of two people appears a couple seconds later.

Vegeta, your ever lovable host, was staring daggers at a stage hand that had a look on his face that clearly stated he had just soiled himself. Vegeta sucked in a menacing sounding breathe. "Silence, I told you already. I won't do the show without my donut."

The stage hand nervously looked at the camera and built up the courage to speak, "Ummm... sir. You're on..."

"I said silence. There is no way you are getting me to put on this show without my donut. Now get me a donut or I'll personally throw you off the top floor of this building." Vegeta shoved the stage hand off screen and then added, "Make it four dozen donuts. I'm hungry." Vegeta turned towards the camera and stopped in shock. "Are we on?"

A voice off stages yelled out, "Yes Vegeta. We're on."

Vegeta frowned. "Fine, but without a donut, I hope you're not expecting to put any effort in." Vegeta glared at the camera, "Welcome to the Kakarott Zone. Oooooh, scary sounding isn't it? This story is about green people and idiots, which we seem to have an abundance of. Have fun."

Vegeta stalked off the screen and a portly balding man with a mustache ran on in his place. "Sorry about that. He's a bit ticked off. We do have someone we're screening. He'll perform the real opening for you now." The man finished with a huff and quickly ran back to where he came from.

You see a body walk onto the screen. 'Today's announcer must be really tall' you think to yourself, he doesn't even fit on the screen. You can't see his face as his whole head seems to have been cut off. The camera man quickly pans up from the mans immaculate suit to his green pointy eared head. With a set scowl he glares at the camera in a menacing way. "Hello, I'm Piccolo. I don't want, nor do I need a job, but when Goku's wife tells you to do something. You do it. This is the sad existence of anyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in, the Kakarott zone. Today's story is about why Goku shouldn't be left unsupervised. Enjoy."

-- License Revoked? --

Dende stood on top of the lookout and smiled at Piccolo, Gohan, and Goku happily. The green skinned healer bent down and picked up his suitcase and turned to Mr. Popo. "Let's get going." he waved goodbye to the three warriors as He boarded the Capsule corp. spaceship that would take him and his servant to new planet Namek for a two week vacation. As the doors closed Dende couldn't help but get a bad feeling that something was going to happen while he was gone.

After the ship was out of sight the three warriors on the lookout turned to each other. Gohan was practically jumping for joy. "This is awesome. Two whole weeks without Dende torturing me." Piccolo looked happy for his young friend.

The seven foot Namekian turned to the older of the two Saiyans and scowled, "Now Son, are you sure you can handle being the guardian for two weeks?"

Goku laughed, "No problem Piccolo, and if I need help, I can always just ask you. Right?"

Piccolo nodded grimly, "Yes you can." with the conversation over Piccolo turned around and flew off the lookout in search of a nice waterfall to go live under.

When his mentor was gone Gohan turned to his father, "See you in a while dad, I have to get going before mom kills me for missing school." and with that Goku found himself alone on top of a giant floating palace, the fate of the earth in his hands. The previous Kami would never have been that irresponsible.

Goku decided that the first thing he would do would be to explore the place. He had been here many times, yet he still didn't really know his way around. He had found that his experiences on the lookout had mainly been confined to the kitchen and wherever he could train himself. Goku's search lead him through many different rooms that didn't seem to have much purpose at all. He did spend a couple of minutes in the pendulum room. He found he could send himself back to when Vegeta and Nappa had been on earth. He spent some time there telling Vegeta and Nappa about the future. The expressions of shock and revulsion on their faces when told that Vegeta would have a son with purple hair made the whole trip worthwhile.

After exploring the lower levels for a little longer Goku decided that it was time to try getting down to work. He went up to the top of the lookout and stretched out his senses to see what was transpiring on the planet below.

"Let's see," Goku mused out loud, "Oh, it looks like the planet is under attack by some evil aliens. Looks like Yamucha just happened to be in the area. Ouch, looks like Yamucha's out of shape. Their beating him up pretty easily. Great, here comes Vegeta and Piccolo. They'll be able to take care of this problem. Yup, no problem. Those two are blowing them all up. Whoops, looks like Vegeta blew Yamucha up also. Must have been an accident. I guess Vegeta didn't see him standing there waving his arms and yelling at them."

After making sure that the rest of the planet was safe, or safe enough, Goku decided from the rumblings of his tummy to go in search of some food. The tall orange clad Saiyan wandered back into the lower levels of the palace. It took Goku five minutes of wandering around to finally figure out that his was completely lost. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't often that he would be in the kitchen. Mr. Popo usually brought food out for them after all. After some quick searching Goku came across a room he hadn't found in his earlier endeavors. The plain wooded door stood alone at the end of a long hallway. A sign hung from the door with the words written clearly for all to see, "Stay Out. Goku." the aforementioned man read, "Must be referring to a different Goku, I'm the guardian for now."

Goku pushed the door open and walked into the room curiously. The room was not very large and it was perfectly round. On the opposite side of the room from the door was a large window. Sitting in front of the window was a wooden steering wheel that looked like it had come right off of an old sailing ship. Said steering wheel was accompanied by a couple of levers, one marked with the words forward and backward, the other with up and down. Goku walked up to the wheel and after examining the room for a couple of seconds before coming to the basic conclusion that this was the cockpit for the lookout.

Goku's stomach chose this as the right time to make a very audible grumble. Naturally Goku was thinking with his stomach again, and after thinking for a couple of minutes, he managed to come up with a brilliant idea, as far as he was concerned. With his mind made up, Goku grabbed the steering wheel spun it around to the right, pushed the first lever into the forward position and went off in search of a drive through restaurant.

It wasn't long before Satan city was quickly approaching on the horizon. A couple more minutes and the floating palace was inside the city limits. Goku scanned the crowded streets below him and maneuvered the ship like an expert into the drive though line up at the first Mc. Capsule corp. restaurant he saw. Another couple minutes elapsed as Goku found himself at the front of the line. It wasn't until he pulled up to the ordering window that he realized that he didn't have any side windows. So he did the first thing that came to mind. He blew a hole in the side of the lookout with a well aimed Kamehameha. Unfortunately for everyone inside the Mc. Capsule corp, the blast blew up everything nearby as well. "Oh well," Goku said to himself with a frown as he examined the smoldering wreckage of the restaurant, "I guess I'll just have to go find another one."

He maneuvered the palace back onto the street in search of more food. He traveled down the street until he saw a Burger Satan restaurant down one of the side streets. He swung the wheel around to the left and the building slowly began turning. Unfortunately for Gohan and Orange Star High school, it was turning too slowly.

Gohan was having a pretty good day at school, he had gotten top marks in a math test, there had been no unscheduled field trips to Capsule corp, and he hadn't been mysteriously locked in any closets with Videl yet. At least Gohan was having a pretty good day until the lookout came crashing through the wall of his classroom. He should have known the two weeks away from Dende was too good to be true.

-- The End --

Piccolo was once again standing on screen with a really embarrassed look on his face. "Just remember, the moral of the story is, never trust Goku with anything." Piccolo shook his head sadly, before being violently pushed out of the way by an irate Vegeta.

Vegeta scowled at the tall green man, "What do you think you're doing on MY show green bean." Vegeta turned around and shouted at someone off screen, "And where the crap is my damn donut."

Someone off screan yelled at Vegeta, "Could you please just rap this up?"

Vegeta glared in the direction of the voice, "Fine, the true moral of the story is, Yamucha should stay the hell out of my way. The end" Vegeta promptly stalked off the stage and the screen faded to black.

You sit on your brand new couch, and smile, everything was back to normal. Except now you house had the new house smell, and some idiot had painted your bedroom puke green, with pink polka dots. Who knows, maybe you could get used to it.

Brenman: How was that? Was it review worthy? Did anyone actually expect me to turn the lookout into a vehicle? Does anyone have the urge to paint their bedroom green and pink?


	9. Neon Goku Evangelion

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, Evangelion, Steve Smith, PBS, Cheez Whiz, or Valasic Pickles.

Brenman: Here we are once again with a new chapter of The Kakarott Zone. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope the Evangelion Jokes aren't wasted on too many people.

The last few weeks have been absolute bliss. The puke green walls with pink polka dots have really grown on you. You feel as if they've become part of your family. You live together, laugh together, and cry together. You do all your favorite activities within their loving embrace. Activities such as, Talking to your imaginary friend, watching reruns of The Kakarott Zone on PBS, and washing your imaginary dog. Or, perhaps most disturbing, washing your imaginary friend. You have just finished scrubbing Gary's back when you look up at the clock on one of your amazing walls. You quickly jump onto your bed and switch the television on, time for the new episode of The Kakarott Zone.

You watch as your favorite T.V. host, Vegeta, walks onto screen pushing a wheelbarrow full of assorted donuts. The huge smile on his face was completely out of character, and he appeared to be whispering sweet nothings to his pastries. You begin to worry about the sanity of your favorite T.V. personality, thinking he might be losing his sanity. You turn to Gary and ask him if he agrees with you. Before Gary can give you an answer Vegeta begins talking, "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji, and you have just entered a place with no rules, a place where anything can happen, like Zarbon starting a pyramid scheme. And we all know Dodoria's going to get burned."

You giggle mercifully at this last comment. You tried to watch Dodoria's latest tragedy to television, The Late Late Late Very Late Tonight Show Hosted by Dodoria. It's basically a really lame talk show where Dodoria tries to make unfunny things funny. And he fails miserably. You and Gary spend the next couple of minutes talking about how much you hate Dodoria's Show before remembering your watching The Kakarott Zone and promptly turn back to the T.V.

Vegeta looks straight at you, lying on your bed, and says in an extremely irritated voice, "Now that I have your full attention again, let's continue. Today's story is about me getting annoyed, and Kakarott being even weirder then usual. I like to call this story, Neon Goku Evangelion."

-- NGE: Neon Glow sticks for Everyone --

Vegeta was having a good day, he had blown up four houses for fun, and hijacked a truck full of Cheez Whiz. He was about to dig into his first jar of cheesy delight when Goku strolled casually through the front door, "Hi honey, I'm home." Goku called out as a seventies style laugh track played in the background.

Vegeta was having a bad day, he had blown up four houses for fun, hijacked a truck full of Cheez Whiz, and Goku had shown up. "What do you want?" He voiced harshly.

"Well, I was thinking about when we were working on our radio broadcast before the radio station blew up mysteriously. That Betty woman called in and said that you really did like my smell." Goku said happily before being cut off forcibly by an Irate Vegeta.

"Don't you even dare to mention that in front of me. If you say one more word I'll rip out one of your lungs and stick it full of needles." Vegeta glared at his mentally challenged peasant as if daring him to keep talking.

Goku just laughed, "I wasn't talking about that really, I was just thinking about how she said she was from the USA. I looked the USA up on a map and it turns out it's one of the largest countries on the planet."

Vegeta stared at his 'friend' with a bored expression on his face, "What's the big deal?" he asked.

"Well, they also say that the USA is the most powerful country on the planet." Goku said.

"Don't be stupid, everyone that watches anime knows that Japan is the most powerful country on the planet. They have us, Robots (Giant or otherwise), and lots of ninja's with super powers. The USA only has Superman and Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Goku nodded, "I guess your right."

Vegeta smirked, "Of course I am, but do you have any point with bringing this up."

Goku nodded again, "Yup. I figured that because the US is so big, if it were a person it would be taller then you to, just like almost everyone else."

Vegeta's smirk disappeared faster then Goku using Instant Transmission. The short Saiyan stalked out of the room leaving Goku to spew off facts about the United States to himself.

-- Three Months Later --

Vegeta was having a bad day. He had blown up three houses for fun, hijacked a truck full of Valasic Pickles (They're not crunchy or juicy, their limp and dry. Just how Vegeta likes them.), and Goku had shown up. "What do you want this time Kakarott?" he asked with a mouth full of Pickles.

"Well, I was looking at the newest atlas Chi Chi bought for Gohan, and the USA's gone. It was replaced by a big blue thing called The Really Unimaginatively Named Giant Ocean of Blueness." He said, before nabbing on of Vegeta's pickles.

"I blew it up you moron." Vegeta said in his meanest sounding voice, "Because of what you said."

"Oh," Goku chirped, sounding a bit too happy for the conversation, "Well, why didn't you say so."

Vegeta suddenly felt like rendering himself unconscious. Anything to stop this ridiculous conversation, before Goku spoke up again, "Hey Vegeta. Why didn't you blow up Canada also. It's right beside the US and it's even bigger."

"You are such an amateur Kakarott," Vegeta lectured, "I didn't blow up Canada because Steve Smith Lives there."

"Who's Steve Smith?"

"You know. Red Green."

"You mean the Duct Tape guy?" Goku asked.

"Yes," Vegeta said happily at getting through to his tall buddy. "and everyone knows that not even a super Saiyan is a match for duct tape."

Goku nodded sagely in agreement. "Hey Vegeta, do you think that when man created duct tape, they were really trying to make a clone of God?"

"Of course." Vegeta shook his head, "Where did that come from? anyway, the other reason I didn't blow up Canada is because the author lives there, and if I destroyed the authors house he would be very angry at me. Because he's the author he could have me do anything he wanted me to do, or incase I killed him The Kakarott Zone would cease to exist."

Goku looked at Vegeta, "Do you mean that I am only the Goku that exists in Brenman's mind, and you are the Vegeta that exists in Brenman's mind."

Vegeta looked at Goku oddly, "Wha cho talkin' bou."

Goku looked at him. "I am me. The me that is here. The me that exists in my own mind. Not the mind of Brenman, or Vegeta. Are you the Vegeta that exists in my mind as well?"

"..." Vegeta stared at his confusing orange clad Saiyan.

"I am Me, and you are you. We all exist in this world by being observed by others. There is the me that observes Vegeta, and the Me that observes Bulma, and there is the me that Observes myself. But there is also the me that is observed by Vegeta, and the me observed by Bulma. Am I just a collection of me's that exist in other peoples minds."

Vegeta was getting more confused, "Kakarott, this isn't that kind of anime you know. Our show was written to make sense most of the time." Vegeta walked over to Goku and with the idea of knocking some sense into him, whacked him over the head with a chair.

"It's in my head. It's attacking my mind." Goku screamed out suddenly, "I don't want to remember that. Oh god I've been suppressing that memory for years. I don't want to remember that. It's raping me. It's raping my mind. Help me. Help me Vegeta it's in my head. I don't want to remember that."

An evil smirk spread across Vegeta's face, he had to find out what that memory was. Probably something to do with needles, "Kakarott. What memory? what happened?"

"It happened when we fused together, I got your memories. That was the first time I saw Freeza's third form. Oh god, it's so ugly." Goku screamed out some more.

Vegeta shuddered, "Oh, that memory." The prince didn't see any other way out of this, so he did the only thing he could think of. He hit Goku over the head with another chair.

"Oh that's good. Memories gone this time." Goku said relieved, "Now if only I could remember where I live, and what's my name? And do you think I could fight better in a plug suit?"

Third times the charm. One more chair for the garbage dump.

"Okay, I'm back to normal." Goku said, "Are you the Vegeta that exists in my mind, or am I the Goku that exists in your mind?"

Vegeta growled, "I should have left him with no memories."

"Where's the Chi Chi that exists in my mind. I'm hungry for some food. But is there any food that exists in Vegeta's mind?"

Vegeta growled deeper, "Kakarott, this is about to be the foot that exists in your ass if you don't shut up." Vegeta pointed viscously at his left boot clad foot.

Goku didn't pay any attention to him.

The tombstone read;

R.I.P Goku.

Fateful last words

"Don't worry. I'll come back after third impact."

-- Fly Me to the Moon --

Vegeta appeared to be covered in crumbs and sleeping in an empty wheelbarrow. One of the stage hands was cautiously poking him to get him to wake up. You and Gary snicker, that guy must have drawn the short straw. After failing to wake up the snoring prince the young man made a hasty retreat off stage and the screen faded to black.

You jump off the bed and turn to Gary. Gary looks at you happily as you ask him whether or not he would like his feet massaged. He smiles at you and says yes. You stay happy during the massage knowing that your in your room with your comforting puke green with pink polka dotted walls.

Brenman: Wow, that was referencerific. Now please review and maybe Gary will come and visit you, and you can have the pleasure of bathing him yourself.

P.S. Incase you didn't figure it out. Gary isn't the dog.


	10. Master of Puppies?

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of the bands mentioned.

Brenman: Here is the next chapter of the Kakarott zone. Hope you enjoy it.

You're sitting on your couch today because Gary had locked you out of your room. The two of you had a fight over what names to give your pink polka dots. You wanted to name the one in the corner of the room near the door bobby, but Gary wanted to call it Gary Junior. You figure that the only thing you could do right now to pass the time before initiating your counter strike to gain entrance to your room and rescue your trapped polka dots would be to watch the new episode of the Kakarott Zone.

You turn on the television and slowly Goku's face flickers into existence. He smiles at the camera happily, "Hello, I'm Goku. Vegeta's on vacation this week, so I'll be you host for the day. The story you are..." suddenly Goku stopped and seemed to be looking past the camera before jumping without warning, "Sorry that's right. I forgot to do the opening line. Bear with me. You have just entered a place with no doodles?"

You chuckle to your self happily as Goku seems to squint off camera again, "Whoops, I mean, A place with no rules, a place where anything can happen, like Krillan growing hair. It does happen." Goku gave the thumbs up to someone off screen and you could distinctly hear some choice swear words in the distance, "Anyway, the story you are about to see is a sequel to a previous episode where Vegeta talked about a very long running sentence. I never really understood it, how could a sentence run, they don't even have any feet let alone legs, so I'm not sure what a running sentence is, but what ever. This story is called, The master of Puppies. Yay, I like puppies."

-- The Master of Puppets, No it's Not Puppies --

Gohan, and his friends were once again at Satan manor with Goten and Trunks. The two boys had gone missing half of an hour earlier, and Gohan knew how much trouble the two children could cause. The four teenagers had been lying on Videls bedroom floor talking to each other about how their parents didn't understand them at all, and how being a teenager totally sucked because they had to listen to the man. Erasa noticed at one point that the two children were no longer there, and soon after realizing this Gohan got the other three teenagers together to begin searching for them. It was quickly decided that they two demi-saiyans were not on the main floor or hiding upstairs.

After ten minutes of searching the group of four found themselves face to face with the staircase leading down to the basement. "Were going to Hell?" Sharpener asked nervously.

Gohan groaned, "Not more of this superstitious story nonsense."

Sharpener nodded, "Yeah, I took the extended tour of the house last week, and there are some scary things that are supposed to go on down there." He nervously swallowed and wiped some sweat off his brow before continuing, "Supposedly, there's this crazy mime like guy who's really good at controlling marionettes. He uses them to do everything for him, and it's said that the mime guy is excellent at making old long distance weaponry."

Gohan shrugged his shoulders, "Doesn't sound all that scary to me."

Sharpener shook his head, "That's not all. He has a stone crustacean, that has children that are types of hard shelled bugs. Together the clown mime thing and his pets usually spend their time playing in the ground looking for soggy cookies." Sharpener put a hand up when it looked like Gohan was about to continue, "Wait. I'm not finished yet. If the children interrupt them, they will most likely use their motorized tree cutting instruments to attack and kill the children until they're dead."

Gohan smacked his forehead, "Come on sharpener. You couldn't have possible believed all that."

"Actually, I do sometimes hear strange noises coming from down there." Videl said.

"Well. Let's go down." Gohan said, trying not to look like he was worried now. Of course everyone of the teenagers was a bit paranoid at the moment.

So in other words, the group, with a superstitious feeling, went through the doors and down to Hell in order to find the Master of Puppets known as Harlequin, who was an arrow smith, before he and his rock lobster, along with their offspring, the Beetles and the Scorpions could begin a chain saw massacre and make sure the kid's aren't all right, just because they might have disturbed their soil work and stolen their limp biscuits.

Once the group walked into the basement, all they found was Mr. Satan lying on a couch making out with Brittany Spears. Erasa looked devastated before screaming out, "Oh Brittany, and we thought you could sink no lower."

-- The End --

Goku scratched the back of his head, "I still can't find any running sentences. Oh well, maybe next time. See you later." Goku's face faded off screen and you briefly watch a commercial for an up coming movie, How Mr. Satan saved Christmas, starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson as the Grinch, and Richard Simmons as Mr. Satan.

The screen went blank as you switch the T.V. off. You hear your bedroom door open and someone close the bathroom door seconds later. You realize that your imaginary friend Gary has left for the bathroom. Now is the perfect time to take back your bedroom.

Brenman: Hope you enjoyed it. I'm working on making the third installment to the ridiculous music related sentence series. the RMRSS.


	11. Naked Bear Ladies

Disclaimer: Simon says I don't own DBZ.

Brenman: Here's the third installment of the ridiculous music related sentence series. Hope you enjoy it.

You are sitting in your living room sulking. You had gone into your bedroom when you thought that Gary had gone to the bathroom, but in fact he had snuck out the bathroom window with all your polka dots. Now your room just had plain puke green walls, and they don't have the same affect as they used to have on you. You slowly switch the television on in the hope that the newest episode of The Kakarott Zone will be able to snap you out of your funk.

The T.V. hums to life and Vegeta walks onto the stage wearing a bright yellow and pink Hawaiian shirt. He smiles happily, "Well, I just got back from my vacation to Hawaii, and boy did I have fun."

Suddenly Goku runs on to the screen holding a large book in his hands, and stops near Vegeta. "Hey Vegeta, this atlas says that Hawaii is part of the USA to. Shouldn't you have blown it up also?"

Vegeta groans, "Dammit Kakarott, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Vegeta quickly flew out of the studio, leaving behind a Vegeta shaped hole in the ceiling.

Goku shrugged, "I guess I'm the host again. Welcome to a place where flatulence is only funny when done in a really high pitch, and where body hair would only be a myth if it wasn't for Mr. Satan. Welcome to The Kakarott Zone. Today's story is the third installment of the ground breaking award winning Ridiculous Music Related Sentence Series. I hope you enjoy this story Vegeta likes to call, Naked Ladies for Everyone."

-- Naked Ladies for Everyone --

Clark Kent, I mean Gohan and his three teenage friends were stumped, "Where could those two kids have gone?" Erasa asked.

"Well," Gohan said slowly, "They've been missing for nearly an hour now. They could get just about anywhere on the planet in that time. What about the back yard? I say we check there and then call it a day. Those two will show up eventually."

Videl shuddered, "Not the back yard. The back yard has it's own horror stories, and They're even scarier then any of the one's inside the house."

Sharpener rubbed his chin self-concisely, "How come I've never heard of any of the stories from the back yard?"

Videl looked around nervously as if checking for other people trying to listen in, "They were to scary to tell the public. We wouldn't want all the tourists to run away, that would be bad for business."

"I see." Sharpener said, "Tell us about these stories, I know I won't run away."

Videl shrugged, "Suit yourself, but thirty bucks says you wet yourself."

"Your on."

"Well, The back yard is through those three sets of doors," Videl points at one of the door ways, "Once outside there are these women that never wear any clothes... Hey where'd Gohan and Sharpener go?"

"I think they both ran away when you said women." Erasa said. "Maybe we should go find them."

It didn't take long for the two girls to track down the missing boys. They found the two huddled together hiding in a linen closet on the second floor, and Sharpener had a growing dark spot on the crotch of his pants, "What are you two doing?"

"Women." sharpener said nervously, "I'm a jock, I'm scared of everything to do with the opposite sex, why do you think I spend all day in the gym with other sweaty guys working on my muscles? I have low self esteem."

Videl slapped herself in the face, "What about you Gohan?"

"I'm a nerd." he said simply, "I'm afraid of anything outside a Star Trek convention."

The two women sweat dropped as the two males huddles closer together. "We're women also you know. Why aren't you afraid of us?"

Sharpener looked confused, "So you mean your not chopped liver?"

Twenty minutes later Sharpener regained consciousness and Videl continued with her story. "Anyway, the backyard is mostly dense forest like terrain, and the unclothed women all have men with them that enjoy building stuff. The guys and gals all go crazy if anyone invades their territory, and they're equipped with dangerous weapons. The men have revolvers, and the women have flowers with thorns on them."

Gohan butted in, "I can handle revolvers and flowers. What else is there?"

"Let me finish. The people want to get their five cent coin, that was stolen by some birds of prey that enjoy to sing unhappy songs. The women and men attack their large squash plants by using their pet primates. While that is happening the other people in the yard, who like announcing stuff, try and get in touch with the local law enforcement to get them to stop because the attacks also damage their brightly colored submersible vehicle when they throw around young stones."

"This is getting confusing." Sharpener said while holding his head. "Is there anything we can do to avoid all that."

"Yes. What we have to do is blink as much as possible while wearing necklaces with terribly cool, yet hot vegetables on them around our necks." Videl stood up. "Are you all ready, let's go. It's time to go rescue the children from the clutches of evil."

The group marched out and soon found them selves nearing the back yard.

So in other words, the teens went three doors down to be welcomed to the jungle with their tragically hip red hot chili peppers while making sure to blink 182 times to find the bare naked ladies and their carpenters with their guns and roses before they could go psycho and get their nickel back by smashing pumpkins with the monkeys while the proclaimers call the police on them for causing a big wreck of their yellow submarine with their kid rock because they don't like moody blues when it's sung by the eagles.

In reality the four teenager walked through the doors and what they found was Trunks and Goten sitting in the back yard talking to Bono and a bunch of other guys. Gohan groaned, "First Brittany Spears and now You to."

-- The End --

Vegeta was back on stage, and he looked happy. You guess that your going to have to change your vacation plans. That trip to Honolulu doesn't look like it's going to happen. "I hope you enjoyed today's episode. tune in next time for another installment of The Kakarott Zone." You flick the T.V. off and take a deep breath.

You feel much better after watching The Kakarott Zone. It never fails to perk you up. You're still upset over the loss of your polka dots, but now you realize that it was never the polka dots that you were upset about. You were really upset that you let yourself get beaten by an imaginary person. You figure that next time you should probably imagine a better friend, or a better guard dog.

Brenman: I hope you liked that one. Review Review Review.


	12. Is Your Freeza Running?

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or Harry Potter. Isn't this an imaginative sounding disclaimer.

Brenman: Here's another episode of The Kakarott Zone. Enjoy!

Your sitting in your living room, covered in sweat and paint. You have decided to move on and painted your bedroom a nice soothing taupe. You figured out that as long as the puke green walls were left you would always be reminded of your stolen polka dots, and your back stabbing imaginary friend Gary. You flick the television on to watch the latest episode of the Kakarott Zone.

The last few minutes of the news is playing, it seems that Mr. Satan's latest box office hit has reached a record number of sales on it's opening weekend. The movie in question, Hercule Potter and the Chamber of Satan's was apparently an enchanting story about a young Mr. Satan, portrayed by Videl wearing a fake chin, who is whisked off to a magical school and a grand and wholly original, and in no way plagiarized, adventure. The screen fades to black and you wiggle your way deeper into the couch and wait for the excitement to begin.

Vegeta walks on to the screen, "Welcome. I am Vegeta no Ouji, and you have just entered a place where everyone is obsessed with balls, and where two-hundred and ninety-one episodes sounds like a nice round number. You have just entered the Kakarott Zone. Today's story is about a certain slimy evil lizard who for some reason, has been invited to learn at a magical school. This is a story I like to call, Phone Pranks and Popsicles.

-- Phone Pranks and Popsicles --

It was a normal day on board King Colds Death Star mrk 7. The Colds were like your average family. Their was papa Cold, the eleven year old lord Freeza and his older brother Cooler.

King Cold was sitting in their seventies style retro shag carpeted living room. The large alien was busy reading the newspaper when the telephone rang. He reached over and picked it up off the side table. "Hello King Cold here."

"Hi, this is the Saiyan appliance service, and we were wondering if your refrigerator was running."

"No, I'm afraid not, my dear wife died years ago." King cold said sadly before hanging up.

-- Meanwhile Thousands of Miles Away --

King Vegeta slammed the phone down angrily, "Dammit, we'll never be able to prank those morons."

-- Back on the Death Star --

King Cold was about to go back to reading his newspaper when his youngest son Freeza came running into the room, "Look Papa. A letter came for me. It's from this place called Hogwarts on planet earth." Freeza quickly blurted out from excitement as he held up a frozen solid owl.

King Cold looked at the frozen creature, "Can we eat it."

"No. I don't think so, it has Freeza burn." The young lord said before blasting it to a crisp with an energy attack.

King Cold slapped himself in the face, "Bad pun Freeza. Bad pun."

-- Commercial Break --

Secret Condoms: strong enough for a man, but made for a shemale.

-- Back to the story --

Freeza found himself stepping off a long red train onto a crowded train platform. He looked around himself at all the other young people. Oddly enough no one seemed to be paying him any attention despite the fact that he looked like something that escaped from an experimental research lab, or that container everyone's afraid to open. You know. The one that's been in your refrigerator since before you were born.

Freeza saw a large man come walking down the platform calling all the "firs' years" to him. Freeza thought to himself, judging by his shady beard and his large size, he was probably going to take the first years and eat them. So naturally Freeza decided to tag along and watch the show. He was very disappointed when they were shoved into some old boats, propelled across a lake and then handed over to a woman who didn't look like she was going to be eating anything besides porridge.

Freeza found himself eying the other students in the group before he spotted a spiky black haired kid come walking up to him. "Hey aren't you Freeza?" the kid asked.

"That's lord Freeza to you." The Ice-jin spat out. "Who are you?"

"I'm Gohan, this is my crossover get lost." He said harshly. "Don't you know. I'm the only one that's allowed to be in a Harry Potter crossover."

"You've had your turn," Freeza said just above a whisper, "let someone else have a chance."

"Fine, but one more thing. Why are you my age? Shouldn't you be dead, or at the very least Middle aged?" Gohan asked.

Freeza shrugged nonchalantly, "Let's just chalk it up to AU."

"Works for me." Gohan said and then just walked off to go speak with some other black haired kid.

Freeza continued to watch the kids around him until the old hag came back and ushered them into a large dinning hall. She led them towards a stool with an old patched up hat on it. After she made some speech that Freeza barely listened to the hat sang some catchy tune that Freeza found himself tapping his foot to. Once the song finished the old woman began calling off names and the kids in the group were being sorted into the four tables the other students sat at.

Soon enough the old woman called the name, "Cold, Freeza."

Freeza stood up and walked casually towards the hat, but before he could get with in twenty feet of the thing it seemed to jump up into the air and scream out in a high pitched squeal of fear as it bolted out of the room while screaming something about pure evil and Slytherin. The whole room watched in awe as Freeza shrugged his shoulders and waltzed off to sit at the far table.

-- The End --

"I hope you enjoyed today's story." Vegeta said with poorly concealed anger, "Tune in next time for another episode of the Kakarott Zone. Damn I hate that guy." The screen fades to black as Vegeta disappears from the screen in a fit of anger and you turn your T.V. off. You jump off your couch and throw your jacket on. Maybe you'll go see that movie they were talking about earlier.

Brenman: Review. I mean it. You better review or I'll get mad. Do you know what I do to people that I'm mad at? Absolutely nothing.


	13. Kakarott Zone: The Movie

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing, ya hear me? Nothing! Bwahahahah!

Brenman: Are you prepared for the most epic Kakarott Zone ever? Because I hope you're Prepared for Kakarott Zone: The Movie.

You couldn't believe it when you got the call last week. You had been sitting on the internet watching trailers for the upcoming Kakarott Zone movie when the phone rang. The call was from Vegeta no Ouji himself, calling to tell you that you had won two tickets to the premier showing of the movie at the Satan City Movie-Plex. You had entered a ballot in the contest when you were at the movie theater to see Hercule Potter and the Chamber of Satans. You only wish that you had someone to bring with you. You figure that your second ticket will go to waste. You could always sell it to some collector on Ebay a couple years from now for a retardedly high price.

You still can't believe you won as you walk up the large stairs to the movie theater. A helpful usher shows you to your seat. You're so excited that you don't even notice that they stuck you between a pig on your right, who was busy devouring an Ego sized bucket of Hercule-corn, and Oolong to your left, "Your Yajirobe, right?" you say as you turn to guy on your right. You remember seeing a couple of episodes of Yajirobe's television show, 'Cooking for Monks.' It wasn't a bad show, but he did tend to spend at least half the show raiding his refrigerator.

"That's right." The fat man said before promptly turning back to devouring his Satan sized Bucket of Popcorn. You look at his popcorn hungrily and decide to get yourself some before the movie starts. You stand up and squeeze past the fat man and head for the lobby.

"Hi." You say as you reach the front of the line up at the concession stands, "I'd like some Hercule-Corn and a The Champ-Cola." you say happily.

The greasy pimpled teenager looks at you with barely concealed contempt, and in a voice you would later refer to as hostile asks you, "What size? The choices are; Brain, Bicep, Chin, and Ego."

You scratch your chin in thought, "I don't want too much. I'll get a Bicep of both."

The teenager fills out your order with the efficiency of a well trained slave and practically throw your concessions in your face. Minutes later you find yourself once again seated between Yajirobe and Oolong, but this time they're both eying your Hercule-Corn with much interest. Too much interest in your opinion.

You hold your food close to your chest as the lights in the theater dim, and a spotlight lights up two people standing in front of the screen. "Hello, I am Vegeta no Ouji," The shorter of the two said, "and this is Kakarott no Brains."

Goku grinned gleefully while skillfully ignoring his fellow Saiyan's insult, "Wow. I've been waiting for this day for so long. You have just entered a place where spin off are so bad they have to be locked up in maximum security prisons with no chance of parole, and where world war three was almost started because people couldn't decide which dub was better. *Cough* Funimation *Cough*."

"You have just entered The Kakarott Zone." Vegeta announced and quickly pulled Goku off the stage as the movie began to play.

The screen flickered to life with that grainy quality you can only get at a movie theater, or when your T.V's on the fritz.

-- Kakarott Zone: The Movie --

Dende stood on the upper deck of his spaceship heading for planet earth, and he had the strangest feeling like he was forgetting something important. He decided to ignore the feeling for now. His long awaited trip to New Namek had been a waste of time. He had arrived on the planet with high hopes of seeing his friends again. Instead he found his fellow Namekians waist deep in mud and watering themselves.

-- Flashback --

Dende stood in front of his revered Elder Muri and frowned, "Elder, what are you doing stuck in the ground?"

Muri looked at him happily, "We have decided to return to our roots." He laughed boisterously, "Get it. Roots. because we're like plants. You see Dende, we only drink water, we're green, we live harmoniously with nature, and we perform photosynthesis. In essence, we _are_ plants, so we decided to live like them. Now if you'll please get out of my sun light.

-- End of Flashback --

The young guardian of Earth sighed and his shoulders sagged, "I can't believe I left Goku in charge of the lookout just for this. I hope he hasn't done anything too crazy." Dende went back to starring out the window into the depths of space.

**RING... RING... CLICK...**

Dende picked up the phone quickly, "Hello, who is this? If it's a telephone solicitor please don't call me again, and how did you get this number? What? Oh, it's you Goku. What can I do for you? Why do you need to know where I keep the insurance information? You crashed the lookout into what? Has Gohan committed suicide yet? Oh good. I'm not finished torturing him myself. Good job Goku, the info's in the glove box."

**CLICK...**

Dende smiled to himself happily, 'Take that Gohan.'

-- Meanwhile Thousands of Miles Away --

Inspector Marty-sue of the West City Police Department stood up after inspecting the brick that lay abandoned on the tiles of the Knitting World floor. Broken glass lay around it like some demented wreath. The inspector shook his head and sighed, "It's definitely the same guy. See this," He said and pointed at a blue scrap of material on the floor. It seemed to have been ripped off on a shard of the glass, "blue spandex. Who ever the infamous serial knitter is, he's not wearing knitted goods when he commits the crimes."

Marty-sue's partner, Jan, an African West City-ian Detective, nodded thoughtfully, "We've found traces of the spandex at other crime scenes in the past. Do you think he's taunting us?"

"Could be his calling card." The inspector added, "Maybe he wants us to catch him, but what ever this is. We have to stop this crime spree before it gets too out of hand. We've already caught four people trying to copy them. Like that guy last week who tried to rob a Knits-R-Us, but knocked himself out with the brick by accident."

The detective pointed at his partner while deep in thought, "I think we should check the shipping manifests of all the local transport companies. If we could find someone who's ordering large quantities of spandex, we may be able to get some leads."

-- Meanwhile Thousands of Meters Away --

Goku stood on the front steps of Capsule Corp. "Please Vegeta, can I stay here for the night?" Goku whined at his princely friend, "Chi Chi won't let me in the house because I erupted Gohan's studies or something when I crashed the lookout into his school."

Vegeta was about to shove him away and tell him to find somewhere else to stay, but stopped as soon as he heard the last part of news, "Kakarott, do you mean to say that the lookout isn't above Corin tower at the moment?" Vegeta had a look of barely concealed glee as Goku nodded his confirmation.

"What's the big deal Vegeta? Oh yeah. I'm going to need your help moving the lookout back to where it came from." Goku said.

"This is perfect Kakarott, don't you get it. Get some other people together to move the lookout back to above the tower. I'll tell you more later, come in for now, and we can make our plans."

Goku stepped into the house and closed the door behind him.

-- Roshi's Island --

Krillin was busy trying to build one of those ship in a bottle when the phone began ringing. He dropped the bottle in shock and watched in horror as all his hard work was smashed to pieces. His shoulders slumped as he grabbed the phone from it's cradle, "Hello, Krillin speaking. Hey Goku, what's up? Yeah, hang on. Eighteen, Goku want to talk to you."

Eighteen walked inside the house carrying Marron and handed the young child over to her husband, and picked up the phone, "Hello Goku, what do you want?"

"Hey Eighteen, well, Vegeta and I have been discussing some plans, and we were wondering if you wanted in, but you have to be quiet about this, it's only going to be the three of us splitting the goods." Goku said in a harsh whisper.

"Fine. I'm in." Eighteen said quickly, "I'd do anything to be able to afford to move away from this stupid island. I like the beach front property, but living with that old man is so weird, and he keeps sneaking into our room when Krillin and I are... well, never mind."

"That's great, can you meet us at Orange Star High school tomorrow at dawn?"

"No problem." Eighteen answered and hung up.

-- Capsule Corp. --

Goku put the phone back as Vegeta walked into the room with a couple of twelve foot long sub sandwiches. He handed one to Goku, "Don't forget, you still need to get some people to help you move the lookout."

Goku picked the phone up quickly, "That's what I was about to do."

-- West City Police Station --

Marty-sue was sitting at his desk with a cup of stale coffee in his hands. He looked at his partner in the seat across from him, "Did you find anything?"

The dark skinned Jan nodded, "There were two large shipments of spandex coming in. Both are to be delivered today. I sent a team down there. One of the shipments is going to some poor old lady, the other is going to Capsule Corp. The guy in question already has an extensive criminal record. I think we got the guy. We planted micro trackers on his spandex, and we're going to be keeping a close eye on him."

The investigator nodded, "Makes sense. He's just some rich guy playing criminal, that's why he's leaving the calling cards. It's all some game to him. I saw the same thing a few years back when this leacherous old pervert kept leaving these turtle shells at the scene of his crimes. Nasty old man. Never did manage to catch him though."

-- Roshi's Island Again --

Krillin was almost finished building his largest card house ever. It was twice as tall as he was. He was about to carefully put the last card on when the phone rang. Again. Krillin was shocked so much that he dropped the card and his whole house fell down. He felt like crying, but Krillin was a big boy, and he sucked it up and answered the phone, "Hello. Krillin here."

"Hey Krillin, it's Goku again. I was wondering if you can help me out with something tomorrow morning?" Goku asked.

"Sure thing Goku." Krillin said, "You can count on me, but please don't call me anymore today."

-- Capsule Corp. --

Goku looked at the phone. Oh well, so Krillin hung up on him, he still has a bunch of other people to call for now.

Vegeta walked into the room a couple hours later. He looked up from a fax he was holding in one of his hands. "I'm going out Kakarott, I have a shipment of Spandex I have to pick up. Have you gotten your moving team together?"

Goku was about to nod, but stopped on second thought, "No, I forgot to tell Krillin where to meet us."

Vegeta walked out of the room quickly, "Just make sure it's taken care of by the time I get back."

Goku began reaching for the phone before remembering that the midget didn't want anymore calls today. So Goku raised two fingers to his forehead and concentrated on Krillin's energy.

-- Roshi's Island Once More --

Krillin was on his hands and knees in the living room. He was almost finished putting the last few touches on his record breaking domino set up. He picked up one more domino and as he was about to set it into place a pair of blue shod feet appeared in his line of vision. Krillin jumped back, but managed to avoid knocking down any of his precious domino's.

Goku looked around Kame house quickly, and took a step forward. Upon hearing a loud squeak coming from below him, Goku looked down only to find a grief stricken Krillin lying on the floor crying as thousands of Domino's whizzed around him. "Hey Krillin, what're you doing down there?"

Krillin glared at Goku, and managed to choke out an angry retort through his sobs, "You know Goku, maybe you should stay as a Super Saiyan, because you make a great blonde."

Goku scratched the back of his head happily, "You think so? Well I just came to tell you that you can meet us at Orange Star High school tomorrow at nine in the morning. See you then." Goku Stuck his fingers to his head again and disappeared.

-- West City Police Station --

Marty-sue and Jan watched as a rookie on the force came running up to them, "Sirs, the spandex was just picked up. We're tracking it right now and we have a surveillance team scouting out the suspect."

Inspector Marty-sue nodded, "Good job, keep us posted on what's happening."

Jan began walking away, "I'm getting a coffee, you want one." he shouted at his partner.

"Black." the inspector yelled in response.

"Racist" his partner yelled back, "You can get your own damn drink SUSAN."

"I meant my coffee you trollop," Marty-sue yelled back, "And don't you dare call me by my real name in public, JANICE."

"Low blow Marty. That was a low blow." Jan said slowly, "Truce. I think we're all a bit high strung, especially seeing as how neither of us has had any sleep in over thirty-six hours."

"Truce." Marty answered, relief evident in his voice.

"Good," Jan said. "but you can still get your own coffee."

-- Between Satan City and West City --

Vegeta and his peasant were flying along beside each other, "Now Kakarott. The moment of reckoning has come upon us. By noon today, we will be the most powerful force on this planet. No one will be able to stop us."

Goku looked at Vegeta oddly, "But Vegeta, we already _are_ the most powerful things on this planet. None of the humans could ever hope to stop us."

Vegeta Harumphed, "I was trying to be dramatic you Cake-for-brains."

"Mmmm... Cake."

"Shut up you numbskull."

-- West City Police Station --

"Sir, come quick, we have a transport waiting." said a helpful rookie officer, "The suspect is on the move, it looks like he's heading for Satan city."

"Jan, come on." Marty-sue yelled across the station floor. "We've got him this time."

-- A Little Way From Satan City --

The ground flew past him quickly as Gohan was flying on his way to School. The young demi-saiyan saw the outskirts of Satan City coming over the horizon and he activated his Great Saiyaman outfit.

-- Orange Star High School --

Goku and Vegeta were standing around looking up at the hulking form of the Lookout. Vegeta eyed it up and down, "You know Kakarott. I never appreciated it until now, but the architecture of this building is beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful building I've ever seen."

Goku patted Vegeta on the in a friendly fashion, "I know Vegeta. It reminds me of a giant bowl of Ramen."

Vegeta nodded, "Yes. My thoughts exactly. Now where is that useless toaster oven when you need her?"

Goku pointed out in the distance, "Here she comes now."

Once Eighteen had landed Vegeta turned to his two accomplices, "Now here's what's going to happen. The android and I are going to head to Corin tower. While Kakarott and the others are moving the Lookout back into place the towers alarm systems will have to be shut down. When that happens it'll be no problem to sneak into the vault and steal every last Senzu bean out of the place. The cat and the fat man won't be a problem either. the two of them will be too busy watching the show, because Kakarott and his group are going to 'accidentally' let the palace slip a little bit. This will ensure their attention is focused on not having their tower destroyed."

Vegeta was about to tell his team to move out when a yell came from behind some bushes and a bunch of men in uniforms came jumping out, "Hold it right there. We heard everything." Susan said while holding out his badge.

The three warriors looked at the police team that was surrounding them. "What do you want?" Eighteen asked coldly.

"We are placing you all under arrest. You, Vegeta no Ouji are being put in custody on the suspicion that you are the Serial Knitter. As for you two," He said, "you're under arrest for being accessories to crime. You will all have a court date issued to you at a later time. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. If you..."

Goku scratched the back of his head and looked at Vegeta, "Accessories to the serial knitter? would that make me a scarf or something?"

Choosing to ignore the spiky haired nitwit Vegeta addressed Marty, "Why am I a suspect?" he asked out of curiosity.

"For one, We've found traces of blue spandex at the crime scenes," Marty-sue said and pointed at Vegeta's blue spandex suit for emphasis, "You already have a criminal record, and you were a knitting instructor once, it all fits. Now as I was saying You have the right to remain..."

"Hang on." Vegeta said, cutting the inspector off in the middle of his speech, "Maybe you should try to arrest us first before making all these bold statements."

"What do you mean? We have you surrounded." Detective Jan yelled at them, "Just give up quietly and no one has to get hurt."

Vegeta smirked, "I haven't stolen anything in months. Let's go you two. We still have our fortune to make." Vegeta grabbed his two accomplices by their wrists and rushed through the ring of officers. Vegeta smiled to himself as he saw a couple of them go flying out of the way.

Eighteen and Goku began running along side Vegeta as they dashed towards Downtown Satan city. The android craned her neck around and shouted her two cents back at the police also, "I haven't stolen anything since I took Vegeta's knitting course either."

Goku laughed, "The only thing I've ever stolen are the hearts of my fans. Because I'm so lovable."

Eighteen looked at the tall Saiyan oddly, "I can't believe you actually said something that corny."

Vegeta looked behind the group, "They're following us, perfect, we need to draw them away from the lookout. Kakarott when we turn this corner, you go back to the lookout and clear the area, get your team together and take it back to Corin tower, we'll meet you there."

"Okay Vegeta." Goku said as they rounded a corner and Goku placed two fingers to his forehead and promptly disappeared.

-- Orange Star High School --

Gohan had just walked out the front of the high school to see what all the fuss was about. The lookout still decorated the front yard, but now there were cops walking around looking for stuff. An ambulance waited outside as a team of paramedics looked over an injured officer. Gohan watched as the Medic pulled out a needle to most likely administer a pain killer to the downed officer.

This is about when Gohan watched his father pop into existence beside the men. Goku took one look at the needle, and passed out cold. The following commotion was pretty hectic as the whole school watched Goku get handcuffed by a team of officers who identified him as one of the wanted men. Gohan was about to begin breathing again as they threw his father into one of the police cars when sharpener walked outside and with one sentence ruined Gohan's day, "Hey Gohan, isn't that your dad they're arresting?"

The whole school looked at Gohan in surprise, he could almost hear the gossip engines firing up. Gohan was about to deck sharpener in the face when Videl beat him to it, "Way to go Sharpener. Your almost as blonde as Erasa. There's no point in being here today, no one's going to get down to teaching anything. I'm going home." Videl began walking home.

Gohan slumped his shoulders and was about ready to walk back into the school when Goku's team of palace movers arrived on the scene.

"Gohan" Krillin called, "What's going on?"

Gohan shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Life as usual it seems. What are you doing here?"

"We were going to help your dad move the lookout back to where it came from." The short man said and motioned to the others behind him.

"Hey Mr. Piccolo." Gohan waved at his mentor.

The stoic man waved back half heartily as he surveyed the wreckage of the lookout.

-- Downtown West City --

Vegeta and Eighteen were still leading the police away from the lookout when they turned a corner and nearly ran over an old woman. They were about to start running again when Vegeta stopped Eighteen, "It's granny Higgs." Vegeta said as he pointed at the old shriveled form of his greatest knitting student, and the woman who had blown a kiss at him in class. Granny Higgs seemed to have take a liking to Vegeta and looked up to him as a Mentor, and it wasn't easy to look up to someone as short as that. The old woman had even begun wearing blue spandex, just like Vegeta.

"Wait a minute." Vegeta said as he looked at the old woman and she stared back in admiration, "It's you. Your the Serial Knitter they were looking for." Vegeta grabbed the old woman's purse and turned it upside down. "Just as I thought." he said triumphantly, "Bricks and knitted goods, with the tags still on. I thought I taught you better then that, and why are you wearing spandex like mine?"

the old woman smiled happily, "Because it shows off my girlish figure so well," She said and began doing some surprisingly youthful Jumping jacks, "and don't I look so sexy with my feminine parts bouncing around like this?

The police came running around the corner and Vegeta and the android ran off again, both of them barely managing to hold in the bile that crept up their throats, "There's your culprit officers, I hope you never let her out." Vegeta said as one of the officers put her in hand cuffs and the others gave up chasing the two as they began running much faster back towards the high school. "Let's go Electric Mixer." Vegeta said, "We have a tower to rob."

-- A Little Outside Satan City --

Gohan and the group of misfits were carrying the lookout back to it's proper location when Vegeta showed up, "Where's Kakarott?" He asked Piccolo.

The Namekian shrugged, "I'm not sure, Gohan says he got arrested back in the city. Gohan told us to move the Lookout anyway."

Vegeta looked angry, but then brightened up, "Not to worry, we can still make this work. Come with me robot woman." Vegeta said and took off ahead towards the tower.

"What do we do Vegeta? How are we going to distract Corin and Yajirobe?" She asked.

"It's going to be tricky, I need you to make sure the group loses their grip on the building a tiny bit, and I can break in to the vault, but I can't carry all the Senzu's out by myself."

"We may have to make do with half the loot, but I'll see what I can do on the fly." Eighteen said and took off towards the top of the tower as the Lookout came crawling over the horizon.

-- Above-ish Corin Tower --

Eighteen flew up one of the sides of the floating palace and placed herself behind Piccolo. She was about to begin tickling the tall Namekian's ribs when Gohan shouted out something unintelligible. Eighteen looked to where the demi-saiyan was looking and she saw a large dirigible passing them. She watched in awe as Videl hung halfway out of one of the windows, "Gohan, help me." She said as she pointed atop the blimp at a masked and cloaked man standing for all the world to see, "It's the phantom of the opera themed room."

Gohan let go of his edge of the lookout and took off to save his girlfriend, and the remaining movers began to struggle with holding on to the palace as it tipped to the side. Eighteen took her opportunity and began flying back towards Corin tower.

Vegeta managed to unlock the vault with a small Ki blast, and as he swung the door open Eighteen came running up to him, "It's been take care of, let's get out of here."

The two of them grabbed all the beans in the tower and took a convenient exit made by Vegeta.

-- Capsule Corp. Living Room --

Vegeta, and Eighteen sat around the Capsule Corp. living room the next morning counting their loot, "You know, "Eighteen said, "this gives new meaning to the name bean counters."

Vegeta looked up from his counting as Goku walked through the door, "Hey, you guys did it. Great."

Eighteen looked at him quizzically, "I thought you would have been locked up still, what happened? Did you get bored and break out?"

"Nah." Goku said happily, "They saw how much I eat and decided that they couldn't afford to keep me locked up, and technically I wasn't guilty of anything, so they let me go."

"Who would have thought," Vegeta said thoughtfully, "the rookie that ruined our plans last time finally did something right."

Goku sits down on the couch and grabbed the news paper off the side table. He flipped it open and looked at the front page, "Check it out, they caught that Serial Knitter. She's already been sentenced to twenty years in jail with no chance of parole."

-- On the Lookout --

Dende stepped off his space ship and looked around the lookout, "It doesn't look too bad, maybe Goku was just joking about crashing it. Anyway, none of that matters, all that I care about is that I'm back and Gohan isn't going to have another peaceful school day for a while."

Dende began walking around to check on the rest of the Lookout. "I still have this feeling like I'm forgetting someth... Oh Crap, I forgot Mr. Popo on New Namek.

-- Fin --

The lights come back on and you stretch in your seat, 'Best movie ever.' you think to yourself. Oolong seems to be quietly grumbling to himself about how all the scenes he was in were cut as you squeeze past a sleeping Yajirobe and make it into the aisle and begin moving out of the crowd into the lobby.

You walk out of the movie theater and see many of the people have made it out already, You manage to get Mr. Satan's autograph as he poses for the cameras in front of a poster for his next movie, 300, staring 300 Satan's as they beat the pulp out of one million Cells. That should be fun.

You leave the movie theater with grand ideas of going home and watching Kakarott Zone reruns.

Brenman: I hope you enjoyed the most epic Kakarott Zone chapter ever.


End file.
